


Faith Through The Stones

by cjmoon



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Outlander AU, Reunions, Slight spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2018-08-11 04:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 39,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7877167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmoon/pseuds/cjmoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Faith Fraser travels through the stones to reunite with her mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> This is a first for me in terms of writing a fic. It was just an idea that I had jangling around in my head. I hope it turns out all right.

November 1965

The trip had been long and all together tiring. Faith had followed the directions given to her to the letter. She had read and re-read the once crisp paper she clutched in her hand. The paper was now worn and creased from the constant folding and unfolding of making sure she stayed on track. All the new and unfamiliar things of this time were a wonder and she worried she'd end up lost in a moment of distraction.

While the train to London had only been a few hours, it had kept her on constant alert fearing she would get off to soon or miss the stop completely. The journey on the aeroplane had been a different matter. It had been an exhilarating experience, if a bit frightening at first. Once she had convinced herself that she would not fall out of the sky, she'd been able to relax for the first time since her journey began. Knowing it would take some time to get to her destination, she had been able to stamp out her worries for a small time and fall asleep watching the clouds. A days journey over the Atlantic, who ever heard of such a thing

Faith had gotten a cab on her arrival, as she had been instructed, reciting the address on her crumpled paper. She held tightly to her only belonging, a worn leather satchel, as they passed the city. The largest city she had seen in her time had been Inverness, vastly different compared to the ones she'd seen on her journey; Edinburgh, London, Boston. The tall buildings were like something out of a dream. Some spectacular vision for Olympus only Greek poets could create.

As they drove, the tall buildings became smaller and more uniformed. Rows and rows of houses, each looking more similar to the next. No boisterous signs for shops, a car in front of almost every home, and none of the bustle she had recognize of the city. As the cab seemed to near her destination she became more nervous.

Faith had always imagined what she would say to her mother if they ever met. She thinks most children who lose their parents do is an unconscious way. She had always wanted to ask Fergus, especially in the days after Da had been taken, but she could never find it in her to ask.

Now, with the reality of it staring her in the face she found herself tongue tied and uncertain. All the words and questions she had, melted into a ball of lead in the pit of her stomach. What if her mother did not want her here? After all hadn't she been left in the care of her uncle and aunt? Wouldn't her mother have come back for her?

Had she been meant to be with her mother, Da surely would have sent her through the stones before he gave himself up to the British. Instead, she grew up on stories of fairies and old ones. Folk would whisper of her mother bewitching her father, of her healing miracles, and the circumstances of her death. It made her wonder, had this been a bad idea?

No, she was sure of that. Having gone through the stones, she knew her parents would not have wanted her to experience that horrible feeling as a bairn. Even thinking about it now, nervous as she was, it gave her a curdling feeling in her wame. She hadn't come here to stay after all; only to meet her, her and the child. It was too late to go back, not after how far she'd come. Even if this little adventure turned out horribly wrong, just getting to meet them both and deliver the letter would be enough.

The cab had slowed down now, turning into a new street. This was it, Furey street. Coming to a stop, Faith paid the man and got out. There was nothing remarkable about the house. It looked like all the other homes on the street, well painted and neat. There was a patch of grass in the front with a car stationed on the pavement. Bright green tubing coiled on the dry grass, reminding her of a snake, next to a bush of pink flowers.

The Boston wind cut like a knife through her wool skirt and jumper as she tried to make her clothes and hair look presentable. She could have used her warm cloak from home at the moment. In her bag were some breeks Mrs.Graham had given her for the cold, but she found a sense of comfort in wearing something familiar after all the changes in such a short time. Finding no other excuse to prolong the inevitable, she hoisted up her bag and made her way up to the door.

The circular buzzer by the door seemed to mock her. As if daring her to upset the life her mother had made here. She pressed it gently and quickly wiped the palm of her hand on her skirts wondering how they could possibly be so clammy. She tried not to notice how quickly her heart was beating. Tightening the hold on her bag and worn out paper she avoided the urge to make a run for it. She caught her breath as the door opened and a man stood at the door asking," Did you forget your keys?"

" Oh!" She nervously gasped. She had been expecting a woman to greet her, she had imagined her mother. Had she gotten the wrong house? Panicked, she tore open her paper. The numbers on the house matched those of the address. She looked back at the man, asking uncertain, "I'm looking fer Claire Beauchamp?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the first chapter, hopefully there will be a second. Hope y'all enjoyed. Stay tuned.


	2. Mail Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Faith receives good news and a plan is hatched.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize, this chapter was supposed to be out last week, but got a bit hung up on a few details, worked on other chapters, and got distracted by marvel.  
> So sorry.

September 1763  
The harvest was well under way in Broch Turach. The spring planting had yielded a good crop this year and Faith was helping her aunt Jenny with moving a few things around the house. Particularly, Janet Murray wanted to move some of the painting that she'd hidden in the wake of the battle of Culloden back in their rightful place. While it wasn't unusual to see see British patrols in the area, in recent years they were few and far in between.

  
"Is this the one auntie?" She called out as squinted at the painting up close. Jenny came close to examine the painting. It was a grand painting. It's ornate glided frame, with it's heavy carvingk suggested that. It was a portrait of a woman with brilliant red hair. She looked regal with her long neck and string of pearls,yet mischievous through her slanted eyes. Faith could only think of her as nothing short of beautiful.

  
"Aye, that's the one. That's your grannie Ellen. Ned gowan saved this portrait and brought it from Leoch. It will be nice to have these paintings in the galley. Brighten up the place a bit. I thought maybe this one on the landing of the stairs. What do ye think?"

  
Before Faith could answer, a growing commotion came from down stairs. Faith and Jenny looked at each other briefly before making there way down stairs to investigate.

  
Young jaime, Fergus, and a few other lads were all surrounding uncle Ian. A letter had come. It was not unusual for mail to cause excitement. This commotion was different, Faith thought.  
"Ian what is it." Jenny called as she reached the ground floor first.

  
"It's Jaime."

  
"It's a letter from da? Is he alright?!" Faith made her way quickly to her uncle's side.

  
"He's fine lass, actually he's more than fine, " he chuckled.

  
"Well what does it say Ian, we haven't had news from Jaime in some time. " her tone suggested just how much worry that caused her.

  
"Jaime's been pardoned. He'll be home by spring. "

  
"Oh thank Bride!" Jenny exclaimed with a happy relief.

  
" Why spring? Surely he could be here before Yule. If he's writing to send word ahead" Faith knew winter in the highlands made travel difficult, but he had enough time to travel north.

  
"He's afraid he won't make it before the snow falls. It seems there's things he needs to settle for his position before he leaves."

  
"His position?!" Faith scoffed, "ye mean as their prisoner. "

  
"I'm sure yer father has good reason to delay. What's important is he's coming home." Ian said laying a hand in Faith's shoulder trying to smolder her Fraser anger before it caught aflame.

  
"He also wants me to pass along his regards and his love to ye."

  
"At least we'll have plenty of time to prepare for his arrival." Jenny said trying to move everyone along. " Now that we know Jaime is returnin' , ye can all go back to finishing up your chores."

  
As the small group dispersed, no doubt to spread the word about her father's pardon, Faith made her way out to the sheep pen. She hoisted herself up onto the fence and reached in the barrel next to her for a head of cabbage. Hughie, her aunt's favorite, trotted his way up to her bleating loudly for a snack.

  
Da was coming back. It was a relief and almost unexpected. He'd gone when she was nine and been gone for so long she had resigned herself to never seeing him again. Even as a bairn she knew there had been a possibility he could be hanged if he were captured by the British. Now, he was returning for good. No running, no hiding in priests holes or caves, only returning to a life undisturbed at Lally Broch.

  
That thought gave her pause. What was he really returning to exactly? She knew he would not take ownership of Broch Turach back from young Jaime. She was here of course, but for how long? If her aunt had anything to say about it, she would eventually find a man and marry. There was aunt Jenny and uncle Ian,and her cousins and their children. Was that enough? Would he be happy?

  
She remembered when da would come down from the cave. It would take hours, sometimes days to get him to return to himself. Even then, he would be detached. When she did something to make him laugh or smile it wouldn't reach his eye. There was sadness there.

  
Faith knew it was sadness that came from her mother's absence. It was a silly distinction. Absences not death. Her father had never said Claire Fraser had died at Culloden and by extension of respect or fear of the former laird no one had ever been so callous as to say so.  
That thought gave her pause. She had had that doubt for some time now. She'd even gone as far as she was willing to prove it false. At the end of it all she hasn't seen a point to it other than selfishness, but now....

  
"Milord returning is good, no? Arriving in the spring won't hurt anyone. He knows what he is doing." She hadn't heard Fergus approach.

  
"Well you'd know better than I. After all you've known him longer." She said as Fergus took a seat next to her and reached for a head of cabbage.

  
"He'll be fine petite soeur."

  
"He's lived this long, of course he'll be fine. "

  
"Is that why you're sulking."

  
"Not sulking, planning."

  
"What for?" He asked suspiciously.

  
"There's some herbs I have to pick before the next full moon. I'm deciding how much I'll need as I won't be able to collect them later."

  
"Is that when their magic is the strongest?" He asked with a smirk.

  
"I know yer having a laugh at me, but it's actually to do with the oils that the leaves make, that help with the healing. "

  
"Oils in the leaves during the full moon?" He said skeptically.

  
"It's what her wee book says" she said matter a factly. Fergus didn't need an explanation of whose book she meant. It was no secret that she used her mother's books to learn about healing.

  
"Yer better off telling people it's magic, they'd believe you more. Why won't you be able to pick them later?" He asked as an afterthought.

  
"Travelin'. Mrs.McNeil is having her bairn soon. "

  
"Is she? You'd think Mrs.McNeil could find a mid wife that was closer. "

  
"She can. It's more for learning purposes. Before she left Broch Morda, she asked if I could assist at the birth and I could help her fer a time after the bairn was born. "

  
"I don't see why you have to travel so far. You've seen your fair share of births here. When are they expecting you?"

  
It was a risk, of that she was sure. Foolish of her to do so, but she had a purpose now. Even if her plan didn't worked the way she'd like it to, it would be worth if she just got to meet her.

  
"I expect to be there by samhain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purpose of this story I fudged the date to Jamie's pardon a bit by making it a bit earlier than in the book.


	3. The House on Furey Street

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Faith answers some questions and gets some answers in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies as always for taking to long. It's really just editing that I get hung up on.

_November 1965_  
Frank Randall blinked several times before his eyes adjusted to the light of the sun. He could see how he had mistaken her at first for Claire. She looked so much like Claire at nineteen, when they had married. Now that his eyes adjusted he could see the differences between his Claire and the young woman in front of him now.

She was slightly shorter than Claire. Her wild mass of hair curled around her face. Her hair was a familiar brown, but in the sun's rays strands of brown look like wisps of copper. The biggest difference was her eyes. They were not a clear gold, but slant steely blue eyes. There was a familiarity in those eyes that he couldn't quite place.

Her timid question brought him out of his thoughts. "I'm lookin' fer Claire Beauchamp?"

He hadn't been expecting the Scottish accent and for some reason it left an unsettling feeling in his stomach."I'm afraid my wife isn't due from the the hospital for some time."

"You're wife? Oh you must be Professor Randall, then. " she exclaimed in relief and acknowledgement.

"I am," he began tentatively." but I don't believe we've had the pleasure miss...?"

Faith's face became warm, she had been so relieved to have found the right house she had lost her manners. "Och, where are my manners. Faith McTavish at your service sir."

"McTavish" he repeated trying to recall who Claire would know by that name and feeling that pit in his stomach sinking slightly deeper. Faith, recognising the look of someone trying to place an acquaintance, spoke up in assistance.

"Beauchamp McTavish. My mam's Elizabeth Beauchamp. She's actually the reason I've come seeking Missus Claire." Frank found it easier to breath all of a sudden. A relation from Claire's side of the family.  
Though unexpected, it explained the similarities between the two. He wasn't aware of any of Claire's relatives still alive, but it wasn't entirely impossible. Yet he couldn't help but feel something still tugging at the back of his mind telling him something wasn't quite right.

"I see, why don't you come in for some tea while you wait for Claire to return. You look like you've had a long trip." He said as he stepped aside to let her in. Faith let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding. "Thank ye. "

Frank led her into the sitting room and then made his way into the kitchen to prepare tea. While he did so, Faith took the opportunity to take in the house. It wasn't grand, but it was well kept. It maintained a sense of cleanliness and a feeling of being lived in. She tried to take in as many details as possible before Mr Randall returned to ask her more questions.

There were half read books on the small table with marked pages where the reader had left of. A worn knitted blanked over the back of the couch. A pair of spectacles on top of an anatomy book. And on the mantle over the fire place were several portraits.

As she came close enough to see properly, they showed a girl at various stages of growth. Her hair a brilliant familiar shade of red that made her catch her breathe. The most recent one had the young woman looking straight out with a mischievous smirk on her face. The longer she looked at it the longer she realized why it looked so familiar. The face looked almost identical to the portrait of her grandmother at Lally Broch.The straight noise, the slanted blue, not grey, eyes. Her eyes, eyes that suddenly made her long for home and Da.

Taking a steady breathe she composed herself for the last portrait.The portrait was slightly larger than those of the the girl with the red hair, but she was at the center of it. At what looked like two, She wore a blue dress with lace edging. Her hair set in two braids and she held a small bear upside down, looking like she would begin to cry at any moment. She was held on Mr.Randall's lap as he looked to be trying to keep from laughing. Sitting to his left, a hand at his elbow ,was Claire Beauchamp, her mother.

There had been no portraits of her mother at Lally Broch. No indication of what she had looked like only the firm reminder from those that had met Claire that Faith had her likeness. Claire had a warm smile as she looked fondly and the child. While she had her hair up, you could see the wisps of curls that had managed to escape. Her bright whisky colored eyes shone brightly. 

She made to reach out and touch the portrait only to remember herself and draw her hands back. She was here under false pretence and Mr.Randall could not have him suspect more than she thought he already did. She forced herself to sit on the couch facing the kitchen and wait for Mr.Randall to return, hoping Claire wound return sooner rather than later.

"Here we are, some tea and I was able to find some biscuits. mind you, we keep proper tea in this house. Not any of that stuff in bags. I hope you don't mind "

"No' at'all. Prefer it actually, couldn't understand why they gave it to us like that on the airplane."

"Now you said you came looking for my wife because of your mother. Is she ill?" He asked concerned.

"Aye, but why would I be here if my mother was ill?"

" Claire's a doctor", he frowned. "You didn't know?"

"You mean an actual physician? No, I dinna Ken. I had heard she was a healer of sorts, but I thought-"

"You thought she was a nurse," Mr.randall assumed," she used to be, yes. Went off to pursue medicine after Bree was old enough"

"A _Bree_...?" She repeated emphasising the r.

"Our daughter Brianna, Bree for short. I know scots use Bree to mean a commotion or disturbance. It's not completely inaccurate as a description for her, to be honest" he chuckled. Faith smiled at the sincerity and fondness in which he said it.

"So, if your mother isn't ill, then why are you here? If you don't mind me asking"

Faith had been wondering for some time what she would tell people when she made it across the stones. She couldn't very well claim to be Claire's daughter, not with her married to another man. She didn't know what her mother had told her husband and even she could not think of a possible explanation for her absence for almost twenty years. She had decided to come as close to the truth as she could.

"I'm looking for my mother. She's been missing for some time" Frank stilled. There is was again another piece too similar to seem like a coincidence. He quickly shook off the thought, he was being irrational, he hadn't even heard the whole story.

" and you think she's here?" He asked carefully. He needed to know.

" I was hoping, well I'm not sure what I was hoping for. You see my mother left when I was just a wean. I don't actually Ken her, but I thought it was time to find her or find out what became of her"

" what of your father? Surely he might have some idea of where she could be."

" Da never talked of her", she said shaking her head." And my aunt and uncle don't know anything either. He never talked to them about her either. "

"You said talked, is your father, I'm sorry has your father passed then?"

" _A dhia_ , no. Thank bride. No, Da's been in prison for some time. We don't talk. "

"I see. " he didn't really see, but her tone warned him not to push the matter."So why do you think Claire might be able to help?"

"I've just been tracking down family my mother might have gone to. I've looked through old letters, but so far anyone she wrote to is dead. I did find a letter to a Quentin, but I learned he died durin' the war. From there I found he had a niece, Claire Beauchamp. I thought perhaps she might have some of his ol' correspondence and it might have something that might lead to my mother. "

"Sounds like you've done some research. It also sounds like you've traveled all this way on only a chance."

"A Chance is all I need, Mr.Randall."

"We'll I'm afraid -"he began before he was cut off by the door opening and closing, followed by a fair amount of noise of someone dropping something heavy on the floor and the familiar rustle of a coat being taken off.

"Daddy?" The voice of a young woman called out.

"In here."

"Oh! sorry I didn't realize we had company" she said.

"Ms.Mctavish this is my daughter Brianna, Bree this is a relative of your mother's, Faith McTavish. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed.


	4. The Auld Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Testing the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holidays are always a bit tough for me, so unfortunately it cause a bit of a delay, but here it is. Enjoy!

October 1763  
It had started with fairies. Stories used to evade the questions her father had a difficult time answering or refused answer. The name Claire Beauchamp Fraser, Lady Broch Turach, was never uttered in her father's presences. While no one spoke of Claire to her father, there was no shortage on comments about Faith's resemblance to her mother. From an early age it was clear she was her mother's daughter. Naturally, like any child, it made Faith curious.

  
" _Da?" Jaime Fraser looked up from the ledger to find little Faith at the door of the study, in her shift and clearly awoken from her sleep._

  
_" A nighean, what are you doing out of bed?" he asked in a low voice._

  
_"Heard ye talking to auntie." She replied simply as she made her way to his side and lifted her arms to be held. He complied holding her close._

  
_"Ye should be asleep Faith." He had tried to sound stern, but it sounded reluctant._

  
_" Canna sleep." She replied as she rested her head on his shoulder, clearly tired. He chucked._

  
_"Weel what should we do about that, then. Perhaps a song?" He teased._

  
_"Da! " Faith giggled. "ye canna sing!"_

  
_" Och, yer right. Aye, no singing then. I'll wake the whole house. What should we do then. How about a story?"_

  
_"Aye!"_

  
_" What would ye like to hear then lass?" Faith contemplated for a time, a worried frown tugging at the side of her mouth._

  
_"Ye seem to have something in mind. Go on." He said nudging her a bit._

  
_"Da where's mam?" His smile faded._

  
_"She's gone lass. Ye ken that." he told her slowly and deliberately._

  
_"Gone where? Can we go? Is it far?" Jaime sighed._

  
That was when the stories started. Claire Fraser, Lady Broch Turach, was called back to the fairy dun from where hence she came. Jaime Fraser would tell her stories of the auld ones and magic stones. A world were people could fly over large distances and water would magically be hot without having to be boiled. A world with carriages that moved without horses and travel was faster than on horse back.

  
Faith would eagerly wait for the days her father would come from his hiding place. She would wait for the right moment to ask about her mother or about the fairies, sometimes both. Being the perceptive child she was, she quickly realized that her father only ever tolerated questions from her and only in the privacy of night.

  
Looking back on it now, she could see her father was aware of her eagerness to know about her mother. By the time she was five she knew better than to ask for stories about her mother. It was easier to ask for stories of the Auld ones. They were just stories after all, stories to keep the truth at bay without truly erasing her mother's memory. For a time Faith had believed them.

  
While the rumors and talks from the folk at Lally Broch were always speculating of what Claire Fraser had been, there had always been a clear understanding that she was no longer. Janet Murray discovered her brother's stories to young Faith and had felt that while he meant well, it was her resposibility to break the truth to the young lass.

  
Faith understood her aunts good intentions, but it was Jaime Fraser's refusal to admit that her mother was dead that lead her to doubt. She had felt foolish at first, using any excuse to travel to the nearest stones when she was old enough to travel outside Lally Broch; A trip to Inverness, trading to a nearby village, even helping the midwife with a birth.

  
At first there was no evidence to the stories her father told. No matter how close she neared the stones, they did not call to her. She was disappointed in herself for believing such stories. Despite feeling so foolish, she continued to take those trips. She was a Fraser after all.

  
While she saw no evidence to the stories, there was always a foreboding presence near the stones. A feeling warning her she should not be there. For the most part she listened to her instinct, only getting near the stones. She even tried to touch the stones, but nothing ever came of her attempts. It took a year to finally see any results.

  
At first she thought she was dreaming. It was not a loud buzzing that pulled her to the stones. It was melodic hum, musical even. It drew her closer to the cleft stone at the center of the circle. The wind seemed to pick around her as she neared. In the back of her mind she could still feel the stones foreboding nature, but she was terrifyingly drawn to the circles center.

  
Fergus had been there to pull her away. He had notice her gone far too long and traced her to the top of the hill. He could not explain it to himself. He had called to her several times before finally pulling her around to face him. She had a dazed look as she was brought back to her senses, he had told her.

  
She quickly brushed off any of Fergus' questions as nothing as they returned to camp. This was it, Faith was sure of it. The question was would she go? This was the first sign that her father's stories was true. She did not know if it would happen again. Would this be her only chance?

  
While she waited for the others at camp to fall asleep, she tried to make a plan. It was the idea of going back to the stones, to face that horrible feeling of helplessness again that stopped her from planning any further. She had not even touched the stones and already the thought of standing in front of them scared her. What would it be like to go through? Was it worth it?

  
She was not ready. She had no provision with her, other than the herbs and water in her pack. She had nothing to leave behind as a explanation to her uncle and aunt. She did not know what she would need. This whole time she was trying to prove her fathers stories were true. Was is worth the risk to cross over for a woman who might not even be there?

  
She had no purpose to go on with this foolish plan. If she did go she didn't even know if she could return. Why risk her life? This might be her only chance, though. No. It couldn't be. What was different this time that all her previous times? It was samhain, a fire feast, she was sure of it.

  
She had decided not to go that day. She continued to track the feasts with the strange calling of the stones whenever she could, finding that her guess had been right. Selfishness was never a good reason for risk.

  
Now here she was years later, standing in front of Craigh Na Dun. She was prepared to leave her life behind, without explanation to her family, to find a mother she could not remember. All this to deliver important news to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's chapter 4 for y'all. Stay tuned for Faith's meeting with Brianna.


	5. Blood of my Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two sisters meet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter five! A little later than I would have liked, but glad the editing got it to where I liked it. And a big thanks to Transcendence-art for being a beta reader.

November 1965

  
"It's a pleasure te meet ye" Faith stood and turned to face the new comer.

  
"I didn't know mama had family in Scotland. " She was tall. Faith had plenty of time to learn the curve and lines of the faces in the portraits on the mantel, but nothing could have prepared her for the imposing height of her sister. Her sister, Brianna.

  
She had imagined encounters with her sibling in the past. Scenarios in which her mother would Return to Lally Broch with a brother or sister in tow. A chance encounter at a market in Broch Morda, where she's recognized by her mother. Even word of someone looking for Jaime Fraser or Faith Fraser.

  
Never knowing if the bairn was a boy or girl, the faces and names would constantly change. Every imagined encounter ending in an introduction of sorts and the joyful celebration of their return. This was not how she had imagined meeting her sister, under a false name with false pretense.

  
"She does not have family in Scotland." She said resolutely. " Mam was English." She said by way of explaining their relation. " It's Da who's Scots. It's a pleasure to meet ye, Faith Beauchamp Mctavish."

  
"Brianna Randall." She said sticking out her hand. Faith looked at the offered hand and slowly took it in hers. Enjoying the unbelievable feeling of her sister's hand enveloped in hers, alive and firm.

  
"Ms.McTavish was waiting for your mother, but as I was telling her. Claire has odd hours at the hospital and may not be back for some time. It would be a waste for her to wait for your mother, when she could be resting in her hotel." Frank Randall said. "Perhaps you can leave your contact information and once Claire returns she could contact you, if she can help." He added.

  
"Daddy don't be silly. Mama has an early day today. You know that." Brianna exlaimed surprised. Faith didn't miss the tone in which Mr. Randall had said it. It was the tone she's heard aunt Jenny used from time to time; polite, but forceful when pushing someone, usually red coats, out the door.

  
Thinking it best to not ruin her chances she said, "If it will take some time. Perhaps Mr.Randall is correct and I should-"

  
"Don't worry mama should be back soon. Beside we don't really meet family from her side very much. It's kind a exciting that it's some one around my age and not an old aunt or something. "

  
Frank Randall pursed his lips in displeasure while Faith tried to hide her smile. A swell of satisfaction rose in her chest just knowing that her sister wanted to know about her, even if it was because they were kin. She was glad she wasn't asked to leave. Where would she even go?

  
"So what brings you from Scotland?" Brianna asked taking a seat next to her. Mr. Randall taking up the seat across from them. Brianna had been surprised by the visitor when she had come home. she wasn't as tall as as she was, most people weren't, but she she might be as tall as her mother. Her clothes looked well worn and probably a size or two too big for her thin frame. Brianna had of course seen photographs of her mother when she was younger and could see the family resemblance.

  
Faith proceeded to tell her the mostly true story she had told Mr.Randall before she had arrived. Brianna was amazed at her journey. "Wow. That's amazing. So do you think you'll be able to find her?"

  
"I hope so. There's not much I can look for anymore. It would be nice getting to know my mother's side of the family even if I don't."

  
"So you live with your uncle and aunt in Scotland?" Brianna said, curiosity getting the best of her.

  
"Aye, my cousins and I help them run the farm."

  
"Surely, you must be old enough to go to university by now. Are you studying anything. "Interjected Mr.Randall.

  
"My family was unable to send me or any of my cousins to university. We received basic schooling and then helped run everything. Had I had the opportunity I would have studied languages. I always had a head for it, I was told. Da taught me some Greek and Latin as a bairn. It's what he studied. Auntie made sure we all learned French, of course."

  
"That's impressive, seems you've done well on your own. Bree will actually be attending university soon. "

  
"Will ye?" She asked fascinated. "What will ye study?"

  
"I've been thinking of following in daddy's footsteps and studying history. Probably not the same area, but definitely the same field. Did you know daddy's specialty is on the Jacobites?"

  
Faith felt a chill run down her spine. "No, I was'na aware."

  
"Our direct ancestor fought at Culloden. " Brianna continued.

  
"Your ancestors were scots ?" She turned to Mr. Randall across from her. He, in turn, awkwardly readjusted in his seat to avoid her eye.

  
"Oh no...he fought on the side of the English, sorry. " Brianna said apologetically.

  
"It's alright. It was a long time ago after all. " Almost twenty years for her. Twenty years of living with the consequences of that doomed cause that had ripped her family apart. " You were able to trace your family that far back?" She asked Randall, changing the subject.

  
"It took some time, but yes. With the proper resources most people can." Could her mother have searched for her, then? Does she already know? A small fear emerged again. What if her mother knew, but decided not to return for her or her father.

  
"She might not want me..." She whispered.

  
"What's that?" Brianna asked.

  
Faith cleared her throat." Missus Claire might not be able to help me, what with her work at the hospital. "

  
"We were planning a camping trip, Mama already asked for that time off from the hospital, so she can help you with your search."

  
"Bree what if your mother was looking forward to this trip, to relax and spend time with us. " Randall pointed out.

  
"Mr.Randall has a point. I don't want to intrude especially after you've made plans. I'm sure I can manage on my own." Faith said quickly.

  
"Mama doesn't really like camping." Brianna assured her. " She spends most of the time looking for plants. I'm sure she won't mind sitting out this time and if she does, I'll help you. "

  
Seeing that Faith was going to argue she said, "We go camping every year, anyway. Wouldn't hurt to use my historical research skills on something more modern."

  
Faith was utterly moved by this brash, stubborn young woman, her sister. They were practically strangers and she was ready to go out of her way to help her. In that moment she realized it was best for her to go. She couldn't interfere in the life they'd made for themselves. She rose to her feet quickly. Too quickly that her knee bumped into the small table in front of her, sending the tea things crashing to the floor.

  
"I'm so sorry! " Faith cried out as both she and Brianna knelt down to pick up the fallen set. Mr. Randall made his way to the kitchen, presumably for a rag to clean up with. " I didn't see how close the table was. And me a guest in your home." She said appalled.

  
"It was accident. Accidents happen. Don't worry about it." Brianana chuckled easily, "and you are more than just a guest. After all, we're family now."

  
" Who's family now?" Said a new voice from the entry way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up. Faith's journey through the stones.  
> Next chapter might be shorter.


	6. A Voyage Through the Stones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith's bumpy journey through the stones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This is shorter chapter, but I hope you all enjoy it.

The Stones

  
October 1965

  
“Je suis prest” we’re the last words she whispered before she touching the stones and being thrown into a world of chaos. There was no proper way to describe the madness in the stones. She woke from unconsciousness to the stars spinning overhead. She shut her eyes tightly again, in hopes of the world coming back into focus. Only to whirl onto her knees and loose the little food she had in her stomach.

  
When she was sure she would no longer be sick she sat back, away from the stone. It was still dark, but the night air had that feeling of dawn approaching. It was then that she became aware that she was not alone.

  
“All you alright lass?” The woman was elderly to be sure and her voice was laced with concern. She was dressed strangely. She was wearing a white shift of a sort over her dress? Why would a lady do such a thing? unless….

  
“ Are ye a fairy?” she asked in a hoarse whisper.

  
She chuckled coming closer. “No lass, are you?”, She asked humorously.

  
“I dinna think so.” she replied unsure. “ Where am I?” she added as an afterthought.

  
“Craig na dun, near Inverness.“

  
Had she gotten it wrong? Did she take a terrifying journey through the stones just to be spun around and spat out again.

  
“You had quite a fall dear perhaps we should get that looked at.” She said pointing to Faith’s forehead. Faith tentatively touched her temple. It explained a bit. It was painful to the touch and it wasn’t the only thing in her body that hurt. She was sore and her right arm hurt. Her eyes kept becoming unfocused and she found it better to keep them shut. The woman seemed to see she was having trouble and steadied her. She was calling out to someone. A young girl from the sound of her voice.

  
"Give me a hand lass." She felt the ground disappear from under her as two pair of hands lifted her to her feet and began walking her down the hill. They stopped shortly at the bottom of the hill. There was some noise and she was sat on a cushion of sorts.

  
She hissed as something soft was pressed to her temple. "Keep that there lass.” A clang resounded as she was enclosed into what she could only think was a carriage. If that door was a carriage door it must be very heavy. Not only that, but Faith had been raised and was familiar with the sound and smell of horses and she was sure there was no trace of any as they neared the carriage.

  
The murmuring of the two voices could be heard outside the door. She opened her eyes to see her surroundings and from where she sat could faintly see a small fire now on the hill they had just come from, then the shadow of a young girl trekking back up. She shut her eyes once more resting her head back. A sound to her right announcing the return of the woman.

  
"Let’s get ye to hospital dearie." She said as Faith jolted at the monstrous sound coming from the carriage. Faiths eyes opened in shock and she quickly lurched up from her seat trying to find her way out of the carriage in the dark. The sound made her heart beat faster, as the sound reminded her of the roar of the stones. " It’s all right lass." the woman said placing a hand on her shoulder. "It’s just the car."

  
The view in front of her illuminated suddenly and the "car", not carriage, moved forward. Causing her to immediately close her eyes with the sudden movement. Perhaps she had gotten it right with the stones. The relief she felt from that knowledge allowed her to take a deep breath and rest for the time being.

  
The journey to the hospital was bumpy and made Faith's already nauseous wame curl. She spent a portion of the ride with her eyes closed before succumbing to sleep.

  
She woke when the "car" came to a stop. The building windows shedding a bright warm light. These were not candles of that she was sure.

  
.......

  
The time in the hospital was long and too strange for her to comprehend. Had she not felt sick as a dog she was sure she would be fascinated by it all. It wasn't until she could truly keep her eyes open without feeling like she would vomit that she had an appreciation for the poking and prodding being done to her. The woman who had helped her, Martha Graham she had said her name was, patiently walked her through everything.

  
Forms and information that she wasn't sure how to answer were needed by the hospital. Faith's injuries were a good enough excuse to not know her "personal information". Other than her name no one seemed too bothered by her lack of knowledge. Mrs. Graham did most of the explaining. It wasn't until some time later when she was tended to and left alone with Mrs. Graham that she discovered an ally in this strange land.

  
"Were ye trying to go through or coming back through the stones?" That had shocked her from starring at her tended arm.

  
"Begging your pardon?" She asked slowly.

  
"Ye heard me just fine lass. Did ye come through the stones? In all my years of going up there for the fire feast I've never stumbled on to anyone. And never in clothes like yours." She said pointing out her clothing.

  
She had been given a white gown on her arrival to the hospital. Her clothing was folded on a chair by the door. Faith had been wary of looking strange before crossing and looked to her father's stories for insight.

  
" _What shall it be tonight, leannan?"she had been fairly young at the time, but by then had learned to take advantage of the short time she had with her father._

  
_"Can ye tell me a story about mam, please? "_

  
_"The day I met your mother was a blessing. She sounded like a lady of gentle birth, but it was clear she was different._

  
_"Different how?"_

  
_"Your mother was the most beautiful woman I'd ever met. Of course, I didna ken that the first time we met. I couldna get a good look at her face. All I knew was she was verra brave. She was wearing not but her shift and was ready to confront a group of highlanders to tend to a man she didn't even know. She also surprised every man in our party with her swearing. It was clear she was an unusual sassenach lady."_

  
_" Why was she in her shift? Auntie says that's improper."She whispered the last part like a secret. Jaime chuckled._

  
_" She told my uncle Dougal she had been robbed on the road, but I never believe that. I always thought it's how the auld ones dressed."_

  
It was with that memory in mind that she shed her gown and stays. She'd crossed in her shift, cloak and rucksack, the very things sitting on the chair now.

  
"Those are just stories, aye." She said quietly.

  
"Aye, but they are true aren't they?" Faith debated on telling her the truth. Mrs. Graham had been helpful, but was that reason enough to trust her? Who knew what someone might do if they knew the truth.

  
"You're looking for someone aren't you? "

  
"How..."

  
"I've only know of one other person to have gone through and come back. There's quite a resemblance between the two of ye. I can help you find her."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Claire.


	7. Bone of my Bone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long awaited reunion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miracle of miracles, I was able to finish and have this chapter reviewed before the end of the month. Enjoy!

November 1965 

Dr. Claire Randall had been looking forward to going home all day. November had been a hectic month at the hospital and today was no exception. A car accident, two surgeries, and patients with a wide range of illnesses made her long to go home and rest. 

Her hours at the hospital rarely allowed her to be home at the same time as Brianna and Frank. It wasn't that she never saw her family, but when she got home it left little time to spend with them.  

As she came to the door of Furey street she heard a loud crash of porcelain coming from inside. Inserting her key and leaving her coat in the front hall she got the tail end of Bree saying " After all, we're family now." 

"Who family now?" She said curiously, stopping short at the extra person in the room. Frank stood wide eye at the entrance of the kitchen with a rag in his hand, presumably to clean the mess of porcelain and tea on the floor where Bree and another girl knelt. It was the mass of wild curls that caught her attention first. Having curls herself, Claire could easily be sympathetic to any girl born in that situation. Bree had been lucky, there was a curl to her hair, but it was more wave than curl.  

At the sound of Claire's voice both girls and Frank had turned to look at her. The newcomers face had a soft angular features, a stubborn jaw, a straight noise, and cat like eyes. It was funny, side by side like that, the young woman and Bree could be mistaken for sisters. The thought made Claire's heart ache and she quickly dismissed the impossible notion. 

Bree got to her feet, but her companion continued sitting there. She look shocked and her face flushed red in what Claire thought was embarrassment over the spilled things.  

"And who's this?" She asked, a curious smile playing at her lips. 

Faith felt something caught in her throat. Her attempt at introducing herself seemed impossible. The portraits made no comparison to her in the flesh and she was glad of it. Claire Beauchamp's face was graced with the lines and curves of a woman that had aged well. Faith could see the clear signs of tiredness under Claire's eyes, but it did not take away from the small upward curve of her smile or the brightness of her whisky colored eyes. Her hair was the most surprising, to Faith. There were silver tendrils here and there in Claire's brown hair, but she did not have the curls she saw in the portraits on the mantle. The hair that framed her face was straight.  

Mr. Randall cleared his throat bringing Faith back to the matter at hand. "Darling this is Ms.McTavish. She's here asking to see some of Lamb's old letters." 

"What would you need with those. You're far too young to be one of his old students, I should know." She said humorously. 

Faith managed to finally swallow the lump that had built up in her throat. She managed a quiet "I'm his niece. Weell, I suppose I'm his great grand niece."  

Claire froze at her voice. _It can't be_ ,she thought. It had been some time that she'd heard that Scottish burr. Sometimes her memories of that time felt like a dream. "Did you say your name was McTavish?" 

"This is our cousin Faith Beauchamp McTavish, Mama." Bree said helpfully. Claire felt her heart lurch and in that moment became very aware of Frank's eyes staring at her from across the room.  

"Miss McTavish is here looking for clues as to where her mother Elizabeth Beauchamp might be. She thought you might be able to help." The tone of accusation was clear in Frank's voice. 

"Daddy, why don’t we let Faith tell mama everything while we get dinner. It's getting kind of late and I'm starving." Bree suggested noting the tension in the room, but not understanding why. Claire was incredibly grateful for Bree's presence at the moment. 

 "That sounds like an excellent idea, darling. Why don’t you get food from that diner Bree loves so much." 

"Yes! Come on daddy." Bree said getting a hold of Frank's elbow and leading him towards the door. Right before they made it to the hallway, she turned around to face Faith once more. "Do you have any preferences, Faith?" 

"oh em...no." 

"I'll bring you my favorite then. You'll love it." She said before turning around and heading out the door. With the soft thud of the front door closing, Faith and Claire stared at each other in silence. Claire slowly made her way around the sofa to face her.  

Faith began to introduce herself quickly. "Misses Claire, I'm-" Only to be cut off by an enveloping embrace from Claire. 

"My Darling." Claire whispered quietly into her hair. Those two words made Faith breath hitch in surprised and slowly she returned the embraced. 

With the experience of a trained physician and mother, Claire could feel the young woman's tiny and perhaps the too thin frame. When they separated, Claire took a long look at Faith, taking her in. 

Here was a grown woman who Claire never expected to see again. Right before her eyes Claire could see the baby she had left behind. She was taken back to that old hospital in Paris, when she first held her tiny body in her arms. When she cupped her head in the palm of her head and felt the soft tuff of copper hair on her head. She saw the fragile body of her child grow strong for that short time at Lallybroch. The curious eyes of her Faith following Claire's movements as she picked herbs in the garden, tiny hands raised wanting to help.  

"Mam?" Faith whispered quietly, worried. Claire felt tears running down her cheek and realized why Faith sounded so worried.  

"Look how big you’ve gotten. Faith, how is this possible?"Claire asked breathless and in disbelief. Faith smiled and lead her to the couch and began telling her how she got here, about Mrs. Graham, and what she had told Mr.Randall.  

"But why would you risk such a thing?" 

"I wanted te meet you." She said simply. Those five words made Claire chest ache with the longing she's had all these years.  

"Yer different than what I expected." Faith said bluntly. Seeing the surprised look on Claire's face she quickly added. "It's no a bad thing. I, well... I heard so many things from so many people. Sometimes it's difficult to imagine one person. Ken?" 

"I suppose there's quite a few versions of me around Lallybroch." Claire admitted knowing the reputation she had among the tenant, but still a bit surprised that Faith had heard such talk. 

"No shortage of them, but it seems something everyone agrees on is my likeness to yours. I suppose they're right. Almost " Faith added reflexively touching her curls. 

Claire laughed "yes I see it too. Even with these." She said lightly touching an errant curl. "I've changed my hair a bit to something manageable, I'm sure you can understand?  It's not permanent, though. Trust me, you take after me in that department too." 

Faith smiled and after a short pause Faith asked, "I suppose I can't call ye mam, can I?"  

"I'm afraid not. Frank doesn’t know about you and he doesn’t believe I traveled through the stones." 

"And Brianna?" Faith asked hopeful. 

"She doesn’t know. It was what I agreed to when I returned to Frank." 

"Ye never told anyone about me?" Faith asked trying not to sound hurt by this question.  

"It was entirely selfish on my part." Claire reassured her. "I couldn't keep your father a secret, not when I was trying to explain why I had been gone for so long. I suppose a part of me wanted to keep you to myself." 

"Ye said Mr. Randall doesn’t know, but why does he seem so...." 

"Frank may not know but, he suspects something isn't quite right. Uncle Lamb kept records of our family genealogy. That we know of, I have no living family. He's wary of anything that might have to do with my time in Scotland. So for you, being Scottish and to be looking for me is suspicious to him. For now we will simply continue with the story you came up with. In a few days Brianna and Frank will be going on our camping trip. I'll use your search as an excuse to stay behind. With my schedule at the hospital freed up we will have time to speak freely without worrying about being listened to or walked in on. Can you do that? Can you wait?" 

"Aye, I've waited this long, but don't you want to go on yer trip, with your family?" Faith asked as an afterthought. 

"Camping is more of Frank and Bree's thing. Most of the time I simply end up hiking and collecting herbs and plants. " Faith laughed. 

"What is it?" Claire asked curiously.  

"It's just, Brianna said the same thing before ye arrive. She also said that if ye did mind she'd stay and help me." Faith replied still not quite believing it.  

"Brianna has always had a strong sense of justice. She reminds me of your father, that way." 

"I'm glad of it. That you weren't alone. She seems... It's unbelievable that she's here. That you're here." 

"I'm glad your here now, too." 

Not long after this, Briana and Mr. Randall returned with dinner. It was a quiet affair for the most part. Claire's motherly and professional instincts causing her to urge Faith to eat just a bit more. The conversation was led mostly by Bree talking about her misadventures at school and asking the odd questions to Faith here and there. 

Claire informed Mr. Randall of the decision to stay behind during the trip. It was clear that Mr. Randall was not to happy about this, but Brianna gave Faith a smile across the table and a look that obviously meant 'I told you'.  As dinner was wrapping up Mr. Randall spoke up. "It's getting rather late. Should we call you a cab for you to take to your hotel?" 

"Oh nonsense, Frank. Faith is staying here, of course. We have the spare room, there's no reason for her to stay at a hotel." Claire responded easily ending any say in the matter. Frank looked like he decided against what he would say next and finished what was on his plate. He excused himself quickly with the excuse of grading papers.  

Brianna begged off next with homework and a test. She apologized on her way to her room about not helping with the dishes. There weren't many, but Faith offered to help. The two of them did the dishes in peaceful silence. Claire washing, Faith drying. For a moment Claire imagined another family in another time that could have been. For a moment Claire pretended.  

She pretended this familial peace had been routine for the last twenty years, but it wasn't the task of washing dishes that she imagined. She imagined the labor of the same two sets of hands working side by side in a still room in another time. She imagined a pair of red heads bent over ledgers in the Laird's study.  

"I want you to know," Claire began quietly over the running water. "If there had been time, I would have gone back for you. Your father and I didn't know if you were like me and could go through the stones or if you were like him. Everything had happened so fast on eve of the battle of Culloden that there wasn’t enough time to take a risk that could harm you. We put our trust in Jenny and Ian to look after you and we felt safe knowing that they would. "  

"They did." Faith reassured her as Claire turned off the faucet. 

Claire led Faith to the spare room, clean sheets and blankets in tow. Claire changed the bed sheets while Faith placed the little things she had on a chair in the corner of the room. "The bathroom is down the hall and everything you might need is in the cabinet by the door. If you need anything just knock on my door. I'm used to being woken at any hour, so don't think it will bother me." 

"It might not be you I bother. " Faith replied. 

"Don't worry about Frank, really. He's more bothered with me than with you at the moment. All right?" 

"Aye, thank ye." Faith said taking her things out of the rucksack. It was the first time Claire had taken a good look at all that Faith had brought with her.  

"Faith is this all you brought with you?" 

"I did not have much when I reached Inverness. Mrs. Graham was kind enough to give me some of her granddaughter Fiona's clothes." 

"If you do need anything. Let me know. I know I keep repeating myself, but I can't emphasize it enough. I don't want you to be without anything."  

"Aye, I promise. I will." 

"It will be a few days before Bree and Frank go camping, and before I have my time off from the hospital. I don't want you to get bored while we're at work and Bree is at school. I'm sure you want to rest after your journey, but would you like to spend the day at work with me?" 

"Ye mean at the hospital? " Faith asked surprised. 

"I know it's not ideal. You might end up in my office for the most part, but I can show you around and-" 

"I would love to. " Faith said eagerly. Claire smiled. "The it's settled. My shift starts rather early, I hope that's okay?" 

"I'm no stranger to waking early." 

"I didn't think you were, but I wanted to be sure. I'll see you in the morning. Good night Faith. " 

"Oidhche mhath màthair*"  Faith whispered as Claire closed the door to the spare room. That night Faith fell asleep fighting, and ultimately failing, to keep  a smile from tugging at the corner of her lips. She prayed for her father's safe return and the well being of her family at Lallybroch. And she prayed for the new family she had found here and her hope that she was successful in her journey. 

............. 

*good night mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much I enjoyed writing it. Hopefully the next one gets done as quickly as this one was.   
> Till next time.


	8. Frank and Full Disclosure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations in a new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all,  
> Apologies for missing last month. I'm sure you can understand how hectic it can be towards the end of the school year. With that said, I can almost guarantee a new chapter the first week of July. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and that it answers some questions you might have had.

November 1965 Inverness 

 

Mrs. Graham had been nothing more than accommodating, as is Highland hospitality. Faith was impatient in finding her mother, but Mrs. Graham made sure she was fully recovered before they began searching for Claire Beauchamp.   

The night Faith arrived Mrs. Graham explained she would do her best to tell her everything, but she needed to know Faith's story first. At first Faith was not sure Mrs. Graham would believe her. She could scarcely believe it herself. Faith warned her it would sound mad, but Mrs. Graham gave her a pleasant smile and patiently waited to hear her story. Faith told her about her mother, her father, the stones, and the letters.  

"Ye know Claire Beauchamp then?" Faith asks at the end.  

"Aye I met your mother before she disappeared." 

"Ye said, ye heard she'd came back, did you no see her?" 

"No, but it was no secret. Highland people talk, aye, and by the next morning everyone knew the lady that had gone missing near the stones had returned. From all that talk and attention, Mr. Randall didn’t bother to keep her here long. He took her straight to Oxford. They moved shortly after that, I was told." 

"Mr. Randall? Is he a relative of hers?" Mrs Graham paused and gave Faith a sympathetic look. 

 "Mr. Randall is her husband" She clarified. Faith let that sink in for a moment. Before she asked, "She married another man?"  

"She was already married before she disappeared all those years ago. Don't worry lass I'll explain everything, but first ye need to heal properly." 

Faith had another ally in her search. Mrs. Graham's Granddaughter, Fiona; who she later found out was the second person at the stones when they'd found her. She now worked with the Reverend Wakefield, Mrs. Graham's former employer, and the man who would know the location of Claire Beauchamp.  

Faith found there were some advantages to this time.'plumbing' as she was told it was called, for one. Clothing was another advantage. While she did find her stays to be just fine, she did like not having such a long process of dressing every morning.  

"Here are some of Fiona's old clothes. You're about her size." Mrs Graham said, placing a pile of folded clothes on the bed. Faith started.  

"Is everything alright lass?" She asked seeing Faith's paled complexion. 

"Is that tartan?" She asked looking at the skirt at the top of the pile. It wasn't just the skirt, though. There were several patterns of tartan in the pile.  

"Oh aye. Is there something wrong with it?" 

"Isn't it illegal?" Faith asked tentatively. A look of understanding crossed Mrs. Graham face. Faith had told her she had been born right before the rising. She would have seen the desolation that Cumberland's men had caused in the wake of Culloden and the banning of Tartan.  

"No. It's no longer illegal. It hasn't been illegal for a very long time." Mrs. Graham told her confidently. 

"It's no' illegal..." faith said in awe.  

Mrs. Graham tried to persuade her into clothing more appropriate of the time, but Faith found herself uncomfortable by the vast change. She picked out the longer skirts and some of Fiona's blouses. There was a coat that was adequately warm enough for the weather, Mrs. Graham thinking her cloak might get unnecessary attention. Faith agreed. 

"Now you're mother was married to mister Frank Randall." Mrs. Graham began one afternoon over, what had become a habit for Mrs. Graham of feeding her as much as possible. Mrs. Graham always commented she was too thin.  

"Mr. Randall was a professor of history at Oxford. Mrs. Randall was a nurse. After the war they decided to come up to Scotland for a honeymoon of sorts. Mr. Randall was searching into his family history and was looking into an ancestor that was supposedly in the area if I remember correctly. That's when Mrs. Randall disappeared. " 

 Mrs. Graham pulled out several sheets of paper. The one on top read 'Kidnapped by the Fairies?' Another was titled 'Search for Woman Continues' the last looked like a broadside. It said ' Reward', the picture drawn had faded and was unclear, but it was clearly had an outline of a woman.   

"Mr. Randall was upset when she went missing. It did not help that the local officers thought he might have been involved in his wife's disappearance.  He spent a long time searching for her until he was forced to return to his job in Oxford. People thought she had run off with a lover or run away from Mr. Randall because she was unhappy. Most thought she had been murdered." 

Mrs. Graham pulled out another sheet of paper the headline this time read 'Returned From the Dead', beneath was a picture of a woman sitting up in a bed. Again the picture was faded. The woman's tousled hair covered her face so Faith couldn't really make out the details of the woman's face. A man could be seen running up to her side.  

"That's Mr. Randall. I remember the Reverend saying how relieved Mr. Randall was to hear they had found her. With all the talk in town  he was so overwhelmed he did not bother to let her recoup her."  

"what sort of talk."  

"The things folk gossip about. There was the story of the fairies of course and that she'd left him from another man. There was also talk that Mrs. Randall was pregnant. It's no wonder they left the second they got a chance. " 

"Have they ever returned?" 

"Not that I can recall. Mr. Randall's wife going missing was a touchy subject when he was looking for her. I still remember the arguments and the yelling while he was searching. Especially, about the rumors that she left him. I doubt the rumors that she was pregnant would have gone any better. " 

"Do you think she ever told him about how she went missing? The truth I mean? 

"If she did, He might not take it well if you showing up on their doorstep. He might not have believed her; but if he thinks your part of her past when she went missing, there no telling what his reaction will be. If she kept it secret, he might think you're a reporter trying to dig up an old story. Knowing that, what do you plan to do?" 

Faith pondered this for a moment. Recalling everything her father ever told her about her mother. She eventually said, "It certainly isn't what I expected. I can try to be as honest as possible. I'll say I'm family. Surely an extended family member is believable. I can say I've been searching for my mother, Elizabeth Beauchamp. Elizabeth is a common name aye? I remember Da saying mam was raised by her uncle, she would have his things. Perhaps he knew where my mother was and wrote to her before he died. I could be there asking Claire Beauchamp for help..." 

"So you'll introduce yourself as Faith Beauchamp, then?" 

"I can't hide the fact I'm Scottish and if you're right about Mr.Randall, Fraser or Mackenzie might be recognizable. McTavish will be something she recognizes. Da went under that name when they first met. It would mean nothing to Mr. Randall, I don't think." 

"Faith McTavish then. You'll need proper documents and I might be able to get them for ye. It might take some time though. Hopefully Fiona will find Mr. Randall address. Last I heard they had moved to Boston." 

The plan had been set and Faith prayed it would work. Faith found the first few days after her recovery suffocating. 'electricity', 'automobiles', 'televisions'; the list of new machines in this time was ongoing and frankly too much sometimes. Faith took to walking the ancient Scottish land that she was familiar with as a reprieve from it all. 

While Fiona tried to find the whereabouts without arousing suspicion, Faith tried to resolve her fears of twentieth century technology. Electricity was not so much of a problem, but it did make her hesitant at first. It was larger things such as the car that troubled her. She had already been in one and that experience made her want to never get in again. The rumble of what Mrs. Graham called an engine reminded her of the stones at first, she found that with some practice that faded. 

It was being near a car, as it whizzed past her, that scared her to death. What if the driver lost control for a second? She would tell herself. Fiona assured her that getting used to cars was important. So Faith tried, Mrs Graham or Fiona would take walks in the streets of Inverness with her so that she would get acclimated. 

It didn’t take long before she was comfortable enough to walk on her own in Inverness. She particularly enjoyed walking along the banks of the River Ness. There was a peacefulness in watching the water. It helped ground her in this century.  She particularly like to sit and watch the people go about their day. 

It gave her time to consider somethings. She had not been lying when she told Mrs. Graham that she hadn't expected her mother to be married to another man. It made her reconsider the letter she had brought with her. It certainly changed her outlook on her plan. She was just realizing how impulsive she had been and how much she had overestimated how easy this would be. She had idealized plans of coming here and meeting her mother and sibling. Faith  had imagined they would all return with her, that she would unite her family. 

She wasn't a naive child. She knew It wasn't simple. She would have to consider things as she went. Like chess, she would consider this from all angles. Her goal now was to meet her, meet them. In time she would make her decision on the rest.  

Fiona did find the address to the Randall's home.  She had found it while cleaning up the reverends study one afternoon. It was on an envelope addressed to the Reverend dated the month before, tucked under several books and a pile of papers. Fiona managed to copy it before the reverend returned to find anything misplaced. With that, Fiona told her there was one more thing that she had to get used to before she left. 

"Ye said they're powered by steam?" Faith asked over the dull roar the went past them as they stood near one of the platforms at the train station in Inverness. 

"Aye and they are much faster than a car. You and Grannie will take the train to Edinburgh. From there you'll take it on your own to London. " 

"And I will take an aeroplane across the ocean? _Flying_? " She asked emphasizing how impossible the last part sounded to her. 

"Exactly." Fiona said with a smile. 

"I think ye overestimate how easy that sounds." 

"You'll do just fine. You've done great with everything else so far." Faith thought she had a point. There was only so much time to prepare, she needed to act before she regret it.  

Too soon the day came that she would leave. She and Mrs. Graham left as the sun was setting. Faith had her rucksack and a piece of paper Mrs. Graham had given to her. On it was information, directions, numbers, and times. She had already been told where to go and at what time. The piece of paper was an added comfort to her on her journey. 

Mrs. Graham went over one last time what she would do on the train to Edinburgh. There was little to see outside the window as it was darkening. The train wasn't as frightening as she expected it to be. She found the rhythm of the train soothing as she listened to Mrs.Graham.  

In a short time they arrived in Edinburgh and Faith was amazed by the short time. A trip that could take weeks done in a mere few hours was a marvel. Mrs. Graham led her to her platform and wished her well. Before she left Faith turned to ask her something that had been on her mind for sometime now.  

"Mrs.Graham?" She turned to Faith. "Why did you help me with, well with all of this? " 

"You did a remarkable thing by coming here. You put hope in your mother being alive after all these years. It is not my place to keep a child from its mother, not when they've gone to such lengths. It's a privilege to return you to her. " 

"Thank you, Mrs Graham." 

Faith let the train to London lull her gently as she sat back in her seat. Mrs.Graham's parting words gave her peace. She was sure that her doubt would creep back at some point, but for now she let it stay at the back of her mind as she slept. It wasn't a deep sleep and Faith would wake at every stop, but she felt sufficiently rested by the time she arrived in London.  

She became alert as she left the platform looking at the people. There were people milling around the station and a small group looking like they were waiting for those arriving. In the small crowd there was a man holding a sign. Faith had to come close to read the illegible scrawl that she eventually read as McTavish. 

"Mr. Wakefield ?" She asked. He was tall and had broad shoulders that reminded of her Da. His green eyes stood out from his dark hair and rather dark clothes.  

"Ye must be Faith McTavish then. Call me Roger. Is that all ye have? " he asked nodding towards her rucksack.  

"Aye, and ye may call me Faith." 

"Alright then. If you'd like I'll take that for you and ye can follow me. " he said leading them out into a car park. His car was small and orange from what Faith could see in the light. It looked almost comical to her seeing such a tall man with a car like this. Roger saw her face as he place her bag in the boot.  

"I ken she doesn't look like much, but she's reliable. Hop in." She did and they drove off. Faith began to feel nervous thinking of flying. She couldn't imagine it properly. She was so caught up in her worry she wasn't paying much mind to the city flashing by her or Mr. Wakefield attempt as conversations.  

"I'm sorry?" She said.  

"I said, you're going to America. That must be nice." 

"Oh, aye." She said plaintive.  

"Ye visiting family, then?"  

"Something of the sort, aye. I'm looking for someone and I'm seeing family because of it."  

"Good luck to ye then."  

"Thank ye." 

It was quiet between them for a time as the car whizzed down the road. Faith wondering just how fast a aeroplane goes when Mr. Wakefield spoke up again.  

"Do ye attend Edinburgh then or St. Andrews? Ye don't attend Oxford. I'm sure I would have seen you." He remarked taking another quick look at her.  

"Neither. I don't attend anywhere... " Faith said slowly wondering if that was strange in this time and deciding quickly to just stick to the truth. Roger seeing her hesitate thought he had touched on a sore subject and quickly apologized. Faith dismissed it quickly, not understanding why.  

"So are you staying long? In America, I mean?" 

"Dunno, might." Faith replied distracted by the worry of her impending flight. 

"I only ask because, well ye Ken Mrs. Graham and all. I thought when ye returned home, we could-" 

"Mr. Wakefield ?" Faith turned suddenly to him.  

"Ehmm Roger, please. " he was babbling, he knew. 

"Roger, have ye ever been on an aeroplane?" Roger blinked at the sudden change in topic.  

"Oh aye, a few times." 

"What's it like?" She asked eagerly.  

Roger saw fear in her eyes despite her tone, and decided to help her. So he told her of his trips, where he had been and when he had gone. He told her why he had gone. She was attentive through his explanations asking a  question here and there, but leaving the storytelling to him. He was in his element, he thought. 

Faith was fascinated by Mr. Wakefield's explanation. He had a talent for storytelling, a way about him that eased her troubled mind. He gave her a vivid retelling of his experience. She was grateful for it. He eased the worries she had about flying. He had even warned her of take off and landing. She felt prepared. If Mr. Wakefield had traveled more than once and was alive and well, she would be fine too, she thought. 

When they reached the airport with plenty of time to spare, she thanked him for what he had done. Roger, telling her it was nay bother, handed her the bag and told her which way to go from there. He wished her luck. She smiled sincerely and thanked him, heading inside. Roger stood stunned on the pavement as she disappeared. As he drove to Oxford he realized caught up in his explanations of flying he hadn't ask her what he had intended to. Perhaps he would ask Mrs Graham during the holidays, he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now. Next up, take your daughter to work day!


	9. Lady Jane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith has a glimpse of the life Claire has made for herself.

November 1965 Boston 

The early morning gloom drifted through the curtains of the guest room of the house on Furey Street. Faith was no stranger to waking  early, but it was a light hand on her shoulder that woke her from her sleep. The face of Claire Beauchamp, her mother, could be seen clearly with the little light that there was. There was no need to communicate that morning, the light squeeze on Faiths shoulder telling her Claire would be waiting when she was ready.  

Faith got dressed quietly and quickly; making quick work of her messy hair, before silently making her way to the kitchen. Claire smiled as she entered. Two mugs of coffee ready made for the beginning of the day. They both basked in the aroma of coffee wafting in the kitchen and the comfortable companionship of each other. Neither wanting to disturb the peace, Both hoping they could make this moment last forever.  

The clock eventually indicated it was time to go. Claire and Faith gathered their things and bundled up before heading out to the car. The streets were empty on the drive to the hospital. The morning gloom reminding Faith of the summer dim, the time of year when the sun never seemed to set.  The drive felt shorter to Faith this time. As she drove, Claire could feel an excited energy run through her.  She could hardly sleep the night before she had tossed and turned trying to fight the infectious smile on her face. She pretended to sleep when she heard Frank come in late from his study. She had been worried at first, that Frank would corner her after coming to bed. She had been relieved when she went to their bedroom and found he hadn't returned from his study. She had been even more relieved when the time passed and she could avoid his interrogation. 

The halls of the hospital in the early morning were calm as the two made their way up the stairs. Claire acknowledged a few of the nurses as they passed various stations on the way to her office.  Her office was not big by any means but it was enough for her long hours at work. It was just big enough for a small couch facing her desk, an afghan laid across the back. The window blinds partly opened letting in the morning light. Wood paneling made it's way around the lower half  of the walls in the office. The top painted in an off white.   

"This is it. " Claire said, inviting her in. There was no need to turn on any light during the day. She was fortunate enough, that her office overlooked a park across the street instead of a parking lot. Her office allowed a small bookcase in the corner behind her desk.  

"I have to check on some patients and do my rounds. You are welcomed to catch up on some sleep here or read a book. Visiting hours don’t start for some time so you might stick out. Just make yourself at home. " 

"Dinna fash yourself. I'll be fine. I dinna want to distract ye more than I already have." 

"I'll be back in a bit." Claire said, quietly closing the door behind her. Faith took a turn about the office taking it in.  The office was a bit bare, her mother didn’t seem to have many personal objects. The few she did have, were portraits standing in frames on her desk. One of Brianna that she was sure she had seen on the mantle. She was fairly young, ten maybe, sitting on the floor with her arms around a large dog. It's black coat shimmered in the portrait.  A copy of the family portrait was there  as well. The third portrait had no color and  looked a bit faded around the edges. In it was an older gentleman, spectacles on his nose and his shirt sleeves pushed up to his elbows. His arm wrapped around a young girl in a flowing dress. The girl's curls springing from her plait a familiar smile on her face. She could only assume this was her mother, the resemblance to herself was clear. That meant that the man next to her could only be her uncle Lamb. He seemed like a jolly man, by the enthusiasm on his face. The portrait had been taken from above, showing them in a large area that had been dug out. Behind them people huddled in groups, small tools in their hands, from what she could see.  

Seeing these portraits made her wonder if her mother would ever have something of hers along with her possessions. Had she crossed over with her mother, would there be a portrait of a young faith on her desk? Would she have shared one with Brianna, perhaps in dresses similar to each other? Faith shook her head, shaking off the thoughts of what ifs. She made her way to the small bookcase.  

Most of the books were leather bound and well used from the looks of it. There were a handful in the bottom shelf, squeezed in between folder, files and notebooks, that were quiet different from the medical text from above. She pulled out one of the small slim books only to find the book had no cover and was slowly falling apart from being read and handled so much. She picked out a second one, curious to see if it was missing a cover as well. It was, the title read The impetuous Pirate.  

Well worn they might be, but the title alone lost her interest as she slid the books back in their place. She thought they were perhaps similar to Robinson Crusoe, a book her cousins Jaime and Michael liked to hear during winters when there was no crops to tend and the family tended to stay inside. It seemed her mother enjoyed those novels too. As She stood to take a closer look at the other books a particular one  caught her eye. Bound in red leather, "Gray's Anatomy" popped up in big gold bold letters, underneath read "100th year" and " twenty-seventh edition".   

A text so old to have so many editions must be used universally in this time, She thought to herself as she pulled it off the shelf. It was hefty In weight as she carried it to her chest and sat on the couch.  Faith lost track of time as she immersed herself in the text and illustrations of the human body. It was all so fascinating and more abundant than anything she had ever read that she carefully ready every bit of it she could. She  was so absorbed in her reading that she began to drift off as the lack of sleep began to catch up to her.  

That was how Claire found her on her return from rounds. The sight of Faith asleep gave her pause. While Faith resembled Claire in many ways, the way she slept brought Claire back to those nights in Scotland when she would watch Jaime sleep beside her, on his back hands resting on his chest, still as a tomb. Claire smiled fondly at her oldest child as she pulled the afghan around her and took the book from her hands. Claire had planned to check in on Faith and inform her that she had a surgery and would be a bit longer. Finding her asleep, she wasn't too worried of her getting bored while waiting for her. Instead of heading straight to her surgery, curiosity got the best of Claire as she brushed back Faith's hair and was rewarded with a faint smile from the corner of Faith's lips.  

It was mid-morning when Faith woke refreshed and surprised to find someone had laid a blanket over her while she slept. Gray's Anatomy had been placed on the end of Claire's desk.  Once oriented with her setting she took up the heavy volume to continue reading. She had began reading on a topic she recognized, the bones, and hadn't gotten very far before she had fallen asleep. She took up where she had left off on the Thoracic vertebrae when she received a visitor.  

"Lady Jane, rumor is you brought a visitor." The dark stocky man said, a gold tooth flashing briefly in his smile. He had closed cropped hair and gold rimmed glassed atop a broad nose framing his broad and amiable face. Faith Looked up to meet his eye as he noticed Claire's absence. 

"But I supposed you already know that being the visitor?" He asked, a sketchy brow lifted. He had soft golden eyes that held a glint of humor that put Faith at ease.  

"Joe Abernathy" he said extending his hand, receiving a strong grip from short blunt fingers.  

"Faith McTavish, Sir. It's a pleasure to meet ye." 

"The pleasure is all mine, miss Faith. And from the look of you I'd say not only are you a visitor, but you must also be LJ's family." 

"LJ?" 

"It stands for Lady Jane. A bit of a nickname we gave Claire when we were interns. She sounded like she had just had tea with the queen." A nickname. Faith had heard her mother go by many names growing up, but this one did not have any tone of weariness or suspicion, it had nothing to do with her healing. It showed she was different to her colleagues. The way Dr. Abernathy said it, though, showed nothing but fondness and camaraderie. Two fellow soldiers fighting alongside each other.  

"Oh, aye I'm her... niece, visiting." She said by way of explanation.  

"From Ireland?" He guessed. 

"Scotland actually." 

"My apologies then, you'll fine I'm not as familiar with accents as I am with the human body." 

"It's alright, ma- My aunt hasn't returned yet." 

"I see you're occupying your time well. Have an interest in anatomy then?" He pointed as the book opened at an illustrations of a vertebrae.  

"Aye, it's fascinating." 

"True enough, but there's only so much you can learn from a book, believe me. You want some first hand experience?" 

"Oh I wouldna' want to take up any of your time. And Claire-" 

"You're not." He said easily, "Come on, well see LJ there." He motioned her out and lead her through the halls. Faith easily keeping up with Dr. Abernathy.  They arrived in a rather small darkened room. The only source of light, came from large tilted windows looking below.  

Dr. Abernathy motioned her forward. The light from below was the brightest light she has seen. It illuminated the room below as some of the room they were currently in. Looking into the room below she found she was not a high up as she had originally thought, but what she found astounded her. It was a surgery, but not like any she had seen before. It was the epitome of cleanliness, the patient was as still as a corpse, the only thing suggesting otherwise was the sound of breathing coming from around a mask over the nose and mouth.  

There were several people around the body, dressed in green gowns, covering their heads and lower faces. The body's abdomen had been sliced opened and one of the figures in green was carefully rooting in the stomach with shiny tools. This form of healing went beyond anything Faith could have imagined were possible. Faith identified Claire at the center of it all by her whiskey colored eyes shining in the light as she looked up to ask for another instrument. Her hands moved in a quick precise movements as she operated.  

This type of healing would never be possible in her time, Faith realized. Even as she watched the surgery, unsure what the doctors were operating on, she knew Claire was doing the impossible. It wouldn't have been possible for Claire to duplicate this in Faith's time. Claire was able to heal these strangers by making this life for herself. It would be wasted talent and resources if she returned with her. 

Faith faintly heard Dr. Abernathy say something to her before he retreated from the room. She hadn't been entirely sure what it had been as she watched the operation continue. She was enthralled as she stood looking down. She lost track of time, she realize when the surgery was over and everyone seemed to be cleaning up. Claire looked up at her, meeting her eye, motioning for her to wait for her there.  

Faith did not a long wait, all too soon the door to the observation room opened to reveal Claire, changed out of her green and into the clothes she had been in earlier. " Have you been here long?" 

"I'm not entirely sure. I seemed to have lost track of times. Never seen anything quite like that." Faith said point towards the windows, with a longing look on her face. 

"How did you find your way here, if you don't mind me asking. I don't imagine you stumbled upon it." 

 "Och, no. Dr. Abernathy came by yer office. He's the one who showed me here. I hope that was alright? I'm not entirely sure where he went..."  

"It's fine. I hope it wasn't urgent." 

"I dinna think so. It seemed he heard word that you brought a guest for the day." 

"Ah. Yes word gets around rather quickly in the hospital. Not as fast as it does in the Highlands, but it gets around rather fast. I'll drop in on him before we leave. How about you and I have lunch before I get back to the rest of my shift?" 

Faith nodded in agreement as they headed down stairs. Claire ordered them a small lunch at a cafe near the hospital. As they sat having lunch, looking out to the park, Faith took the time to ask Claire questions regarding the operation she had seen. Claire felt joy in Faith's interest in medicine and  was overcome with pride at how meticulous Faith seemed to be in her questioning. On the way back to the hospital, Faith tentatively asked if she could sit in on another of Claire's surgeries. Claire was delighted.  

They spent the rest of that day in that manner. Faith would sit in the observations room during Claire's surgeries. When Claire had to see patients, Faith would stay in Claire's office had continue reading from Gray's Anatomy.  Claire had shown Faith the doctor's lounge on the third floor and they had spent some time with Dr. Abernathy.  Joe Abernathy and Claire had been friends since they started working at the hospital. He was a kind good humored man, Faith thought, and could see why he and her mother had become friends.  

While Joe was one to take things in stride, and he did, Claire could see he had some unasked questions regarding Faith. Joe Abernathy had known Claire for almost ten years, it was clear he was surprised by the sudden appearance of her "niece". She was sure she would be asked about it when he had the chance and Claire would cross that bridge when she came to it.  

At the end of the day, the two made their way back to the house on Furey Street. This was the lightest that Claire had felt in a very long time, she realized as she drove. Having Faith here with her had filled a part of Claire's heart that had been missing and she had been longing for. Her heart was not complete, it might never be complete and she had come to terms with that fact.  

Mr. Randall had once more taken to shutting himself in his study after dinner, when they returned to the house. Claire was not particularly worried and reassured Faith after seeing the worry in her eye. In a surprising moment, Briana had asked Faith if she could help with her with some French homework. Faith was flattered and agreed to help immediately.  

Brianna's room had a range of things hanging from her walls, Faith thought there was scarcely and bit of the actual wall visible between framed certificates, artwork, and photographs. Everything seemed to have it's place and seemed to take on Brianna's personality. The room seemed to say this room belongs to Brianna and didn't want you to forget it.  

The two took seats at Brianna's desk and got to work. French had changed quite a bit from what Faith was familiar with, but with Brianna's textbook Faith was able to navigate through modern French and help Brianna finish in no time.  

" So you spent all day with mama. That must have been boring. I was always bored when I had to spend time at the hospital. " Brianna said. 

" I thought it was incredible, actually. I got to see Missus Claire perform surgery. And your mam she... I don’t even have words. The way she heals people, I think is incredible. " 

" Doctoring really isn't really my thing. I'm glad you enjoyed your time with mama. I thought for sure you would be bored, but it beats going to school. The nurses are pretty nice too. Did mama show you around the hospital, then?" 

"Aye and I met Dr. Abernathy. He was nice." 

"Uncle Joe is great. He's known mama for a real long time. So will you be going with mama to the hospital again. " 

"Aye. That's the plan. " 

"Well I hope you keep enjoying it. If you haven't already, you should try the ice cream in the cafeteria. It's actually pretty good." 

"I'll try that, thank you."  

They continued talking from some time. Brianna walking her through most of her room explaining what she had hanging or placed. Faith was impressed with what her sister had accomplished and displayed in her bedroom. There was some embarrassment when Faith didn't know who all the bands Brianna had posters of, but Bree didn't think too much of it, thinking that it simply must be a Scottish thing.  

Claire found the two laughing as Bree told Faith of the time Claire had come to school for career day. She took a moment to see her two girls enjoying each others company. This is how it should have been, she thought sadly.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank's for reading!  
> We'll continue next month with another trip to the past.  
> Stay tuned.


	10. La Dame Blanche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith learns of La Dame Blanche.

Lallybroch

1753

It had come to Jenny's attention for some time now that Faith had taken an interest in her mother. Ever since Jaime had been taken away, Claire had been much more openly talked about. No one would talk about Claire while Himself was still at Lally Broch, whether he was staying at the house or in hiding was no difference. The talk of the Laird's wife inspired Jenny to complete a request Jamie had asked of her.

Jaime had, of course, asked jenny to look after Faith before leaving. He was confident that his sister and Ian would take care of her, but it didn't mean Faith wasn't losing another parent. With that in mind Jaime had request the objects that belonged to him and Claire never be sold, and that they would go to Faith. There wasn't much he could leave his daughter, no title or dowry to speak of, her mother's things could be of use to her.

Jaime having been gone for over a year now and with that request in mind, Jenny had set out to look over the trunk that contained Claire's possessions. Most of the gowns would have to wait until faith was older, but tucked near her parents trunks was just what jenny was looking for.

Faith was only ten, but Jenny found she was mature enough to take this gift with plenty of consideration and care. She had also seen Faith had become subdued in the last year. She needed something to care about. Jenny had decided that she would give Faith a gift for Hogmanay. The night after the first footing, Jenny knocked on the door of Faith's bed chamber. Being one of the oldest, Faith had a smaller room to herself on the second floor.

Preparing for bed, Faith asked her in, when Jenny knocked. Jenny carried Claire's medicine box with her. It was larger than the one Claire had taken with her during the uprising. Knowing to take only what she thought would be needed, Claire had left the larger box behind with everything she didn't need.  
Jenny set the box on the end of the bed as she sat next to Faith.

"Before yer da left he asked that his and yer mam's belongings go to you. With that in mind, I thought it was time you have this." She said placing a hand on the lid.

"I didn't think you ready for any of her gowns. Ye have quite a bit of growing still to do for that, but you've been so interested in the herbs in the gardens I thought this better. It was your mam's medicine chest. She would use this when she wasn't traveling with your Da. She only took what was indispensable during the war, the rest is here. For you. "

"Do ye ken what's in it."

"Aye and it's yours to keep. I'm sure I don't need to tell you to take care of it."

"No. I will take care of it. I promise, auntie." Faith said eagerly.

"I ken it. Now, don't stay up too long. You have chores in the morn and plenty of time to look everything over tomorrow and everyday after that. Besides, you know your uncle is up and about at night when he canna sleep."

"Aye. Thank you auntie."

"You're welcome lass. "

Faith ran her hands over the smooth wood of the lid. She slowly opened the latch with bated breath pulling the doors outward. There was an assortment of items, mostly bottle and jars of medicine and ointment that lined the box. Most of the bottle and jars were marked with their contents. There were a few that she would have to investigate with some care later. She was sure she would have to throw out most of what was already made and would have to refill most of the ingredients. Her biggest trouble would be making the medicines that were already there. She could not duplicate the ones without labels.

In a small pouch of felt she found a collection of small, smooth coin shaped stones, each carved with a figure, some with lettering on the reverse. It was not any language she was familiar with, but they reminded her of ancient carving she would see on stones on the road when they traveled to Broch Morda. They did not look sinister in any way, and had they been inappropriate auntie would have removed them, she was sure.

She returned the pouch and reached for the small jar beside it. The contents clinked delicately as she rolled the jar slowly to get a better look of the inside. With the light of the candle she realized they were bones, small animal bones. Gently uncorking the top she shook out a few into the palm of her hand. A large claw with a digit still attached, bones of a wee snake connected by a leather thong mimicking it's manners in life. An assortment of teeth, a string of peg shaped things she was not sure which animal it had come from, a teeth she has sure came from a deer, and one that looked similar to a mans.

She couldn't say, but there was something about the bones that she found fascinating. It was as if she could imagine the bear the claw had come from or sense the presence of the deer. She found the bones lovely and appealing, as if the lines if the bones held together the animal that was. It gave her a warm feeling from the excitement of her discoveries.

She continued looking through the box, finding other objects next to herbs and potions. She found more stones strewn throughout the box, some faceted others not. They were warm to the touch when she held them and she was not sure what types of stones they were from the lack of light, but would not be surprised if they were crystals from the way they gleamed in the light of the candle.

A glint of gold in the light caught her attention next. It peeked out of another pouch, this one leather. It was a pair of bracelets fashioned from the tusk of a boar, she was sure of it. The pouch was weighted down by another object. A white crystal on a gold setting and chain. It was warm in her palm compared to the cool of the leather pouch. A stone was left at the bottom of the pouch, A lump really. It reminded her of the honey balls Grannie McNab would give her from time to time. She licked it to make sure it wasn't some medicinal concoction that her mother might have forgotten or accidentally place in the pouch.

Faith's face scrunched up as her tasting affirmed it was not in fact a honeyball. She would have to wait until morning to find out what it really was. These objects must have had some value to her mother, she thought, to have been set aside from the other crystals and stones. She put away what she had taken out and began looking in the two drawers beneath the box.

In the smaller drawer, she found a small stack of letters bound in twine. They were from Paris addressed to her mother from a Mother Hildegarde. She set those aside to read tomorrow when there was better light.

In the other drawer, slightly larger than the other, was a book. The book was unfinished, with plenty of pages left blank. It was a journal, she realized, written in two different hands. The first was unfamiliar, but the second she had see before, rarely, but she had seen it. It was her mother's writing. Faith froze, wanting to pour over the writing, regardless of the little light her candle provided or the hour. It was the soft thud of the laird's bedroom door closing and the uneven tread of her uncle that reminded her of her aunts warning. She reluctantly placed the book in it's place and blew out the flame. There would be more time, she reassured herself.

Faith woke with the sun, her excitement from the night before still apparent. The house was quiet, all but the cook she could hear. Faith took the time to look over the book from last night. It was not just a journal. It held accounts of patients her mother tended, receipts for potions and brews, notations of the previous owners notes. Davie Beaton was the name of the previous owner, she learned. She had heard of Clan Beaton and was surprised that her mother had something of theirs in her possession wondering why she had it.

A wry smile touched her lips as she read her mother's corrections on Beaton's opinions when it came to healing. Most were small remarks in the blank spaces of the passage, "ridiculous", "absurd", "unsanitary". She wasn't sure what that last one meant, she would have to ask her aunt. Then there were slightly longer corrections, explanations to why something might be unsuitable for an illness or injury. Irregularly found throughout, it was as if she would comment on these thing depending on her available time.

It was the passages written in her mother's hand that she saw the most value in, and not for sentimental reasons either. Claire Fraser was nothing if not thorough in her profession as healer. Claire spoke only to herself in the passages. The patient and their illness and symptoms, her options on treatment and how they healed. Faith did not understand many of the things her mother wrote, but she would learn she had decided.

She had always found healing to be interesting. At first because that was what her mother had been and it connected her to the woman everyone seemed to know. She would sit and watch as her aunt would tend to her cousin's injuries and illnesses. She had a vague memories of her father being tended when he was brought back from Culloden moor.

She remembered her father injured and fevered calling out for her mother. Aunt Jenny hurrying the children up the stairs as Mrs. Crook began to boil water. Faith had snuck out to the landing, watching through the banister as her aunt sliced through her father's leg and both she and Mrs. Crook poured the hot water over the wound. Aunt Jenny explained that Claire had told her about the benefits of boiled water. A knock at the door drew her to the present reminding her of her chores, away from her gift.

As the days went by there was still something that bothered her of what she had seen in the small chest. It was only Aunt Jenny who she trusted on this matter. After all, she had been the one who had given her the box and knew what was in it. As she helped her aunt clean up after breakfast she broached the subject.

"Auntie, that box ye gave me. I have questions."

"I canna tell you if I can answer them. I'm not sure what many of those things are for. "

"It's not that, well it's part of it. Was mam really a witch then?"

"Why she would say something like that." Jenny asked, truly surprised.

"Well most folk say so. I've heard some of the women say she was a charmer. Mrs.Kirby said she was known as the Stuart Witch during the rising.

"Gossiping hens." Jenny Fraser Murray, muttered under her breath.

"Auntie?"

"Don't listen to that gossip Faith. Folk like to talk of things they don't know or understand."

"but she was a charmer? Her box...."

"Faith yer mam was a healer. A Ban-druidh. She used what she knew to heal folk. She was a good healer with a reputation and because of that other healers would seek her out. Many of the things in that box were gifts given to her. She didna use them for healing. She was no witch." she turned away at that making it the end of the conversation.

Faith spent the afternoon in the barn watching over one of the goats that was about to give birth. With all the animals tucked into their stalls, the barn was relatively warm compared to the brisk January day. She played with the chain of the necklace with the gold setting. Something about it had gotten her attention and she took it with her before leaving the house. She had been thinking over what her aunt had told her. Aunt Jenny seemed sure that her mother was no witch. Faith was not sure if aunt Jenny was bothered by the fact that someone called Claire Fraser a witch or that someone had called her that and Faith had overheard. She never knew with her auntie.

It was during this that the barn's door opened and Fergus came in pulling a brown mare with him.

"Yer back" Faith said surprised. Fergus had been gone the day after Hogmanay, sent to Broch Morda for a few suplies.

"Aye mon petite soeur, the weather hasn't made it easy, but I've returned."

"What have you got there?" He asked nodding towards her hand as he rubbed down the mare. Faith lifted the necklace up with her hand, the small amount of light in the barn reflective off the gold setting.

"I have not seen that in ages. Where did you find it?" Fergus said as he finished giving the mare food and walked over to sit next to her.

"Auntie gave me mam's medicine box. It was in there. Ye've seen it afore?"

"Oui, Milady would wear it when we lived in Paris. The purpose of the crystal is to detect poison by changing color."

"Why would she need such a thing?"

"Milady had made an enemy in Paris and there was fear that the Jacobites would learn that yer parents were working to prevent the uprising. There had already been an attempt on Milady's life with poison. An apothecary friend of hers gave it to her."

"Why would someone try to poison her?"

"Milady was known as La Dame Blanche, a very powerful sorcière that could see into the soul of a man and see the darkness in their heart." He said ominously.

"Was she?" Faith whispered.

Fergus laughed. "No Milord made the story up one night when he had a bit too much wine and needed a reason for men to stay away from her. She was a healer, she would help at L'Hôpital des Anges, where you were born."

"Do ye ken about the stones and bones in her box then?"

"Oh Oui, Milady thought those were from the frog man." Faith looked at him curiously.

"He was the apothecary that gifted her the stone." he said as he pointed at the necklace. "He seemed to care for Milady. After we returned from Paris she would receive packages with stones and herbs and such. Milady was sure it was the frog man, even if it didn't have any letter or markings. I only ever saw her use the herbs, but I think she liked the bones and stones."

"I do too."

After that Faith spent any of her free time reading her mother's wee book. She told herself it was to learn about healing, but the more she read she noticed she would linger on her mother's commentary. She would go back and reread something she found humorous. She took to reading the letters in her mother's box to learn about the life she had in France. She learned about the people she never met or remembered she learned about Claire Fraser, La Dame Blanche. Her mother's wee book was no longer a resource for healing, but a way to keep her mother close, now that her father was gone too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next month we'll return to the 60s.


	11. Diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Faith is diagnosed and Faith diagnosis her own problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am NOT a doctor. I have NO Medical experience and Nothing in this chapter should be interpreted as medical fact. I merely did some googling and used what I found to work into my story. I know stuff is wrong, just go with it.

December 1965,  

Boston 

Faith adjusted to the new routine over the next few days. The morning of Mr. Randall and Briana's departure, she was up at the same hour as before. She woke to a silent house and made her way to the kitchen. She had gotten a taste for the coffee of this time and Claire had showed her how to make it in case she weren't available. 

Faith sat at the dining room drinking her coffee enjoying the sight out the window. In the early hour only birds and critters were awake. She was currently watching a squirrel weave it's way through the branches of the tree out front.  

Not long after, she heard a muffled rustling of the family waking. Frank Randall found her at the dining table taking a drink from her mug.  

"Good morning." Frank tried to say pleasantly, but ended up sounding surprised as he was to see anyone else up this early. Claire and Bree were not morning people.  

"Good morning Mr. Randall. I hope I dinna wake you." Faith replied honestly. 

"No, not at all. Bree and I will be leaving as soon as she gets up. You're not one to sleep in are you?" He said as he prepared his coffee. 

"I've always been up with the lark. It's better to get chores done early on a farm, especially in the winter. " she replied when he sat across from her. 

"A farm work ethic." He commented. 

"Aye. No reason to be capering about when there's work to be done. At least that's what my auntie would say." 

"You know it's interesting. Lamb kept meticulous records of the Beauchamp's genealogy. He never noted a cousin of Claire's. I checked the records myself a few nights ago." Frank said casually. 

"I dinna ken why he wouldn’t. As I said, I merely found a letter from him." Faith answered, hoping he would leave it at that.  

" What did that letter say?" He pressed.  

" Well it was no' so much a letter anymore. The contents were smeared" she lied smoothly. 

"Only one letter?" He pushed on.  

"Aye, that's all I found with an addressed envelope. " She had had these lies prepared.  

"Who are you?" Frank demanded abruptly. 

"I'm sorry?" She asked. Truly surprised at the turn of his inquiry. 

"I asked who are you?" 

"I dinna understand-" 

"I mean who are you really? Did _he_  send you?" She stiffened. 

"Mr. Randall, I don’t know who ye mean. I think there's been some misunderstanding." She said calmly, trying to sound reasonable. 

Faith stood taking her mug with her and quickly rinsed it at the sink. When she turned around Mr. Randall was there taking her elbow and leaning in. 

"I don’t believe you." He said in a matter of fact voice.  

"Let go of me. " Her voice became deadly calm. She tried to slowly yank her arm back, but his grip tightening enough to make her wince. 

"Now tell me." He demanded. 

Spitting through gritted teeth she said, "I am telling you. Now get you're bloody, filthy hands off me you bastard. Fang sassunaich!"  

Randall, quickly, released her arm as if he had been burned. Echoes of a similar exchange flashed in his mind. Faith no longer stood in front of him, Claire did. Frank blinked stunned and took an unconscious step back and then another until his back was against the kitchen counter. Faith's eyes narrowed, her lips were pursed. She had a look of complete contempt on her face. She stood tense, ready to fight if need be. Frank had only ever seen that look from Claire. 

They stood frozen facing each other waiting for the other to make a move. Faith wasn't sure how long they stood there when they heard,"Well I'm all packed and ready to go. You sure- " A voice said coming down the stairs. 

Faith straighten and modified her face quickly, devoid of all emotion. A look of absolute calm. 

"I didn't realize you were awake Faith. I would have slept in if I were you. Who wants to be up at this hour." Brianna continued. It was then that she took notice of the tension in the room. 

 "Everything okay?" 

"Aye, Mr. Randall and I were just chatting. Right Mr. Randall?" She said pleasantly, looking to Randall.  

"Em yes, I have to finish loading the car, excuse me."He said clearing his throat and quickly making his way to the entrance. Claire came into the kitchen then preparing some snacks for the road. Brianna and Claire chatted amicably as Mr. Randall loaded the car. Faith sat quietly at the dining table as Claire helped Brianna pack up anything she might have missed.  

Faith was rattled by Mr. Randall's attempt at interrogation. She had not expected Mr. Randall to be so suspicious of her as to try to harm her the way he did. It seemed to have surprised him as well. He was clearly shaken by what had happened. There was no time for Randall to talk to her again and Faith kept well away from any opportunity he could have. 

Faith watched from the window of the guest room as the family said their goodbyes. She could see Mr. Randall trying to speak to Claire. She seemed to dismiss him as she said goodbye to Brianna. Brianna stepped into the car and Mr. Randall stood by the driver's side door. He called to Claire saying something Faith couldn't hear. Claire seems to reply and it wasn't to Mr. Randall's approval. He still looked a bit pale as he got in the car and drove away. 

Despite the little disagreement they seemed to have, it didn't take from the fact they were still a family. They had lives and routines they kept. It may not be like the family Faith had grown up in, but there was no denying that they were a family, flaws and all. A voice in her mind reminded her that the root of the disagreement at the moment was her. If she were not here their lives would go on as usual. Claire would be off enjoying a trip with her husband and daughter.  

It was a thought that continued to constantly grow louder in her mind since she arrived at their home. It was becoming the only thing that was keeping her from telling the truth. With Mr. Randall and Brianna gone now there was nothing stopping her from telling Claire the truth. Nothing, but the intrusive thought that she had no right to take her mother away from the life she had  made for herself. She had no right to disrupt the life her sister ever knew. She had no right to take that man's only family. 

Whatever Randall had said to Claire, she didn't mention it when she came back inside. Instead, she asked Faith if she was up to a few trips that day. Claire took the same route they had the last few days and arrived at the hospital.  

"I thought ye didna not work today?" Faith asked as they pulled into the hospital car park.  

"I don’t, but I thought that since I have you here, I could give you a proper medical exam. Would that be okay?" 

Faith nodded and the two made their way inside. Claire had called ahead to ask to use one of the clinic rooms. She gave Faith a gown to change into and started the examination. Claire was quick and efficient. In her mind's eye going over the names of bones, muscles, and ligaments as she examined Faith. 

Claire had her read the eye chart on the wall, confirming her assumption that Faith would need to be examined by an optometrist and most likely need glasses. She remembered the signs of Retinopathy of Prematurity that she had as a baby. She was glad she had not lost her vision, but it was still possible for it to get worse. 

A bruise on her arm caught her attention, but Faith said it was nothing. That she'd bumped her arm coming down the stairs. Claire accepted it seeing no reason to for Faith to lie to her. Her initial assumption had been right, Faith  _was_  underweight. The signs of malnutrition were much clearer when she wasn't covered up. They seemed to be disappearing, something Claire was sure Mrs. Graham's had some part in and she said a silent thanks to her for it. 

Claire hadn't been surprised by the malnutrition. When she had returned she had the same symptoms, including dehydration. She was all too aware of the famine the Highlands had endured during the highland clearances. It had worried her in this time when she let herself think about it. Not just for the daughter she left behind, but for all the inhabitants of Lallybroch, the people she had come to know as family in that short time.  

During the examination she noticed more of the small flat scars littered through Faith's body. 

"Faith how did you get these?" Claire had an idea, but she wanted to be sure. 

Faith hadn't thought much of the small scars that scattered about her body like freckles. She was lucky they did not mare her face and neck.  

"Smallpox." Claire looked up from the scars.  

"Smallpox, when...?" 

"I was young, around seven, I think. I dinna remember much, I had a terrible fever. Everything in my body felt wrong. Auntie said it was worse for me. She locked herself wi' me in the study to tend to me and kept me separated from Maggie and Kitty. They had it, but it was a mild case, I was told. She worried I would die." 

Claire felt her heart ached at the knowledge that she hadn't been there. She said a silent prayer to Jenny for looking after her. Jenny would have been immune to smallpox, having experienced it with her older brother Willie and Jaime. Willie had not survived and she could understand why Jenny thought Faith wouldn't either in such a case. 

"Well you are very lucky. These aren't small pox. The scaring is a bit different. This was chicken pox. In your time there would have been no difference between the two. It would just be considered small pox. " 

"So I was in no danger?" 

"I wouldn't say that. Chicken pox can still be deadly if not treated. Especially if you have a weakened immune system. Something that's likely for someone like you who was born prematurely. Were you sick often growing up?" 

"Aye, more often than most of my cousins, at least when I was a bairn. Didna happen as often later. Well, I'd get ill, but not for long." A feeling of regret crept through Claire at the knowledge that she would have been needed during those times. So many missed moments. 

"This will probably help. I'm going to give you some vaccines. These are injections that will help prevent you contracting different illnesses like smallpox, measles and mumps. I won't have to give you an injection for each individual disease, I'll give them to you in what's called a whole-cell. That means one injection will apply for more than one." she explained as she prepared the vaccines.  

While Claire prepared, Faith tried her best not to look at the sharp objects Claire handled easily. There were several injections and she had no desire to be poked by any of them. The shiny metal gleaned in the light driving Faith to find something to distract herself with. Faith absent mindedly hummed a song she had never known the words to, but always found humming to herself growing up.  

It was while doing that, she paused suddenly realizing that she wasn't the only one humming. She started at her mother and Claire abruptly stopped realizing that Faith had been humming the same song.  

"Faith how do you know that song? " 

"I'm not sure, I heard it once. When I was a bairn. It just stayed with me. " She tried to explain. 

Claire knew that Faith had heard that song when she was a child. She knew because she would sing it to her as a baby. What she couldn't believe was that Faith had any memory of such a thing. It was possible that Jenny could have sang to her, but not this song. "Do you remember where you heard it?" 

"It was when I was fevered, actually. I remember the melody while I was being held. I could barely open my eyes at the time, when I did everything was hazy and warm and blue.  Even breathing felt hard. The singing helped, but I couldna remember the words after. I was sure I dreamt it all up at the time." Faith rambled trying to recollect everything from that time. 

"Could Jenny have sung to you?" Claire suggested. 

"Nah, it was not her. I'm sure of it. Twas no' any voice I could recognize." 

They didn't say anymore on it after that. The whole thing being unsettling to understand. Claire made quick work of the injection and had blood samples prepared for examination. Soon Faith was dressed once more and they were both in the car again.  

The drive was short. In five minutes they were at their destination. A  separate building close to the hospital held an optometrist clinic. Faith was called in quickly and in a chair being examined as Claire settled all the paperwork. Claire walked in as they finished up the appointment. 

"How about this one?" Said the doctor switching the lens. 

"That's better." Faith replied. 

"and now? Better or worse ?" 

"Worse." 

"Okay, how about now?" 

"Better." 

"Now which one is better? The first or the second?" 

"The second." 

"And now?" 

"Still the second" 

"That should be it then." He said as he turned on the light and moved the machine. Faith moved to stand. 

"You just pick out some frames and you'll have no trouble seeing when they arrive." 

"Thank ye, doctor." Faith said as she left the room, Claire stayed behind. 

"Thank you, Frances, for making the time to examine Faith."  

"It's no problem, trust me it's not unusual for children who were born premature to develop vision problems. While Faith's vision may have deteriorated, that deterioration hasn't advanced to where we should worry. I've seen cases where someone of her age has lost most if not all their sight. Are you sure she had ROP at birth ?"  

"I'm almost positive. She had a lot of the signs." Claire remembered the abnormal growth of the blood vessels in her eyes when Faith was born. It was something she kept track of constantly, afraid it would advance. 

"It's not unusual that some children with any of the first three stages to improve without treatment if they have a mild case. From the looks of it she's doing fine. Was she not looked at before this?" Claire knew this now, but at the time did not know what stage of ROP Faith had. 

"She lives in the Scottish Highlands, her home is actually quite far from the nearest town and medical expenses...." She explained for Faith's lack of medical history.  

"I understand, don't worry. She seems to have gotten by pretty well." 

"Yes she has." Claire said proudly as she looked at Faith across the room looking at the different frames. Despite her early introduction into the world, Faith had manage not only to survive circumstances most were not so lucky to live through, but thrive in a way she could only describe as miraculous. 

"I'll let you two finish up, then." Frances said getting to his next appointment. 

"Thank you again." Claire approached Faith as she examined the selection of frames on the stand. 

"So what do you think? Any decision yet?" 

"I'm trying to find something similar to the ones within... Scotland. Ken?  

"That's very prudent of you. You'll also have to find ones that are sturdy I imagine?" 

"Aye, how about these?" They were round metal frames with a horn rim. They were bit old fashioned, Claire didn't know they still made frames like these. Her uncle lamb had a similar set, she remembered fondly.  

 "Perfect, why don't I get you two, that way in case if something unfortunate were to happen..." 

"Oh I couldna possibly, you've already done so much." 

"Please." Claire pleaded. While this was something that Faith saw as a large gesture of kindness. Claire knew this was only a drop in an ocean of her  affection for her daughter. 

"Thank ye, Mam." Faith whispered. 

*************************************** 

 a fang sassunaich- oh English vulture 

ROP(Retinopathy of prematurity )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone!!  
> I realized that with this chapter it's been one year since I began this story. I'm proud that I've been regularly publishing chapters and hope to continue to do so since we are half way to our end. Thanks to those who read and commented! I hope you also continue to do so!  
> Thanks so Much!  
> Until next month.


	12. Oh I Do Like To Be Beside the Seaside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An outbreak at Lallybroch and a plea to a higher power.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than I would have liked, But my beta reader and I have been distracted by life; mostly work, school and the new Outlander episodes.
> 
> I'd also like to thank everyone who commented last chapter. I really appreciate the love. 
> 
> I did notice that some of you were worried I would abandoned this story. So, I'd like to reassure everyone here that I am not, nor have I ever contemplated abandoning this story. I've had this story planned out and outlined since the beginning and will be posting once a month like I have done unless something keeps me from doing so. So have no fear.

Lallybroch 

1751 

It had started with Kitty. Small marks and coughs quickly turning into fever. Jenny Murray had seen it all before and a fear ran through her at the realization. It quickly spread from Kitty to Maggie and Michael.  While she tended to them quickly and they looked like mild cases, it was when Faith caught it that she grew worried.  

It was a stronger case with Faith, it was clear from the beginning. She could see the resemblance to Willie's case of smallpox.  She acted fast; She knew she had to. She forbade anyone from entering her study, locking herself and faith inside. She would call out frequently from the door when she needed anything. It was on the second day that Ian broached the subject of Jaime.  

"Perhaps we should send Fergus up to him. " Ian whispered through the door that night after making sure everyone had been put to bed.  

"No we canna do that. There's no use for us to call and worry him. We are already doing everything we can for Faith. Him being here won't change anything. " 

"I only ask because it's been some time since we've sent supplies he's bound to get worried and come down. " 

"Then send Fergus, but make sure he doesn't say anything to Jaime." 

"Don't you think he has a right to know that his Faith is sick. " 

"He has every right. What he doesn't have the right is to worry and do something rash that will  get him arrested or hanged. " 

Days passed and Faith's fever grew worse. Jenny tended to her as best she could, but Faith grew delirious with fever. Her moans becoming supplications for her father and mother. Every plea Faith made gnawed at Jenny's heart; knowing that she was depriving what could be her niece's last days from her own father.  

Jaime knew nothing of what was happening at the house until Fergus arrived with supplies. He was unusually quiet. Fergus had a natural energy to him and was always forthcoming with news of the house, particularly how Faith was doing. Jaime asked of any news at Lallybroch.  

"Nothing much Milord. There have been no sightings of the redcoats in a few weeks." 

"What of my sister Jenny and the bairns? What of Faith?" He asked his voice gruff. 

Fergus stared at his feet. He had promised mistress Jenny he would not say anything, but petite Faith was ill. He remembered Milady at Le Hospital when Faith was born. They had almost lost the two of them. Milord had already lost Milady and that had changed him more than he could ever imagine. He could not attempt to imagine what it would do to Milord if something were to happen to Faith. 

"Fergus, lad. What is it?" Jaime said breaking his train of thought.  

"I'm sorry Milord, but Mistress Murray did not want to worry you." 

******************************** 

Jenny was rocking Faith when a pair of voices broke through the house. She quickly placed Faith on the cot to see what was happening. Afraid that the redcoats had shown up. As she made it to the door of the study, the door opened to reveal Jaime, furiously glaring down at Jenny.   

"Jaime, what are you doin' ye clotheid. Do you want the English to arrest you?" 

"What is the meaning of this Jenny?" He demanded taking a step into the room. Jenny stopped him from going any further.  

" Stop. Ye'll catch it too." 

"Catch it? " 

"It's small pox." She said gravely. Memories of Willie springing to both their minds as Jenny said that.  

"Please Jenny." Fear showing in his eyes. 

"I won't have ye getting sick too." 

"And what of you? Ye have Ian the bairns to think about. If I die at least I could safely say I did what I could for my daughter. She's all I have left Jenny. I'll not sit by."  

Jenny saw the desperation in his eyes. Faith was the only one to bring any expression into those eyes since the uprising.  

Jenny reluctantly let him in instructing him on Faith's care with instruction to call out if he needed anything. Mrs. Crook would be in the kitchen should he need it she assured him.  

"Hot water and clean clothes, for the both of us. " was all he said as Jenny turned to leave. Jaime washed remembering Claire as he scrubbed and washed as best he could. Ridding himself of any more  _germs_  that could harm Faith. He bathed Faith as well as he could without jostling her too much. 

Once both were dressed, Jaime rocked Faith as he had when she was a babe. Soothing her through her fever. She was small enough that he could comfortably tuck her in his arms still. He sang absentmindedly to her, or his version of singing. He hoped she would be conscious enough to tell him he could not sing as she had a habit of doing so teasingly. He was disappointed as all she did was fidget and moan into his shirt; silent tears running down her cheek. 

Through the night Faith would call to him whimpering. All he could do was shush her reassuringly that he was there. It felt like it was the only reassurance he could give her. He was the only one there left for her he thought achingly. They just had each other and the thought of losing her was slowly killing him.  

He prayed in between nursing and singing to her through that unbearably long night. His heart came to a wrenching stop as he heard Faith call for her mother. It was weak, but clear. He hadn't heard her call like that since before Culloden when she was just starting to say her first words. _Is_ _she seein_ _g Claire?_  He wondered. Was she leaving him too? 

He called out to her, his Claire, his light. Asking that she take care of her. If it was her time, it was only in Claire's hands that he would release her to. When it was his time, perhaps he would be lucky enough to be released into Claire's hands as well.  

************************* 

Faith was unbearably hot. Her body ached as she struggled to gain some relief to her aching body. She heavily breathe air slowly for fear of adding to the pain. She would cry out for her Da, wanting him there, but knowing he could not leave the cave. Her auntie would soothe her but it was no use.  

She thought she was dreaming at first, she could hear her da talking. His gruff voice coming from the door. Shortly after she felt some relief from the heat. She was being washed, she saw when she managed to open her bleary eyes. Her father reassuring her as he wiped her down with a warm rag. She felt cooler when she was dressed in a clean shift.  

The relief did not last long, though. The heat returned leaving her to cry into her father's shirt. Periodically he would make her drink water or tea. Giving her some relief from the dryness in her mouth.  

Faith would fade in and out of consciousness as her father rocked her. Her dreams were confusing and jumbled, they would make her uneasy when she woke. The uneasiness would be followed by dizziness and queasiness in her stomach. She couldn't seem to keep anything down. She would force  her eyes closed to keep the study from spinning.  

In an attempt to make it stop she called out to her mother. Maybe she would appear like her Da did. Maybe she could help. She was a healer after all. She would do anything to make it stop.  

She could hear her da speaking in the  _Gaidhlig,_  but it sounded far away. She recognized it as praying. She closed her eyes once again. Was she dying? Would it make the pain stop? 

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when a quiet hum sounded in the room, at first she wasn't sure she had heard it. Was she dreaming? Her father had been singing, but that humming was not him. Da had a way of singing since he had no music. The humming grew steadily louder in a pleasant way. She sighed finding comfort in it. She could not make out the words, but it was pleasant all the same.  

She felt a warmth placed over the hand she had curled on her chest. Taking a comforting weight there. She opened her eyes with some difficulty. Everything was a blurry haze of color. Her eyes not being able to focus. She looked to her chest where her hand was curled up expecting to see her father's hand there with her. She was met with a blue halo of light. Was she imagining it like she had the music.  

Maybe it was her guardian angel, for it felt like the presence of another person. Familiar yet different all the same. Maybe it was her mother having heard her prayer. She closed her eyes imagine the figure of her mother sitting next to them. A forgotten memory stirred in her mind with the humming.  

 _Oh! I do like to be beside the seaside!_    
_I do like to be beside the sea!_    
_I do like to stroll along the Prom, Prom, Prom!_  

She sighed calling to her mother. Jaime said her name too, like a prayer. Her breathing seem to have calm giving Jaime relief. He took it as a good sign.  

The heat of her fever became a comfortable warmth, slowly spreading through her body. She could almost feel the fever and sickness in her body receding. With the heat ebbing away she could finally sleep. Jamie rocked her through the night like he had when she had colic. In the morning Jenny found both bundled together holding each other asleep. Faith's fever had broken. 


	13. Mothers and Daughters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Claire learns more about Faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay. I've been up and about trying to get my apartment ready for a remodel that publishing took a back seat. Here's this month's chapter.

Boston,  
December 1965

With the concerns for Faith's health taken care of, Claire suggested that they do something easy for the rest of the day. Knowing that vaccinations sometimes brought about symptoms, she didn't want her and Faith running about town. She had settled on them going to a movie. It had been a film she had wanted to see, but had missed going with Bree and Frank due to work.

The experience came as a surprising delight to Faith. Faith had thought that nothing else could surprise her in this time. Film was phenomenal, to tell a story visually in such a manner. It captured her attention in a way she could not comprehend. It was like a play that was told with music and dancing. It minded her of ceilidh and stories she's heard told. She found the music, singing, and dancing all were enchanting.

She had spent the better part of the drive home recalling and going over every bit of the film. Claire hadn't seen excitement of that measure since Bree at Disneyland. The simple act of watching Faith's animated face made Claire grin from ear to ear.

Once home they settled in for the night talking of Faith's interest in healing. She showed Claire the book that she had inherited. In fact Faith tried to give it back to her.

"That book once belonged to a Beaton and the then it belonged to me. It's yours now. I couldn't think of anyone else to have it." Claire told her.

Faith wrote as Claire talked through the better part of the night. They discussed herbs that Claire had learned about since her time in Scotland. Simple procedures to heal wounds, sprains and breaks. Claire showing Faith examples from her medical books. There was too much to learn for one night, Claire knew, but she focused on problems that she saw most often during her time in the eighteenth century.

Since the day they reunited Claire had not asked of the inhabitants of Lallybroch for fear of being heard by unwanted ears. Though she wanted to broach the subject, a part of her feared the answers to her questions. She knew of the hardships the highlanders faced after Culloden, but there was a difference between knowing something from a history book and people you personally knew dealing with that hardship. Tonight she would not broach the subject. She would not allow anything to be put between her and Faith now that they had the freedom to talk of the past.

In the day that followed Claire would take it upon herself to learn of everything she had missed in Faith's life. She knew some of the answers would be difficult to hear and that there were things that would fall through the cracks. The sum of almost twenty years' worth of memories, experiences, and milestones could not completely be gone over the unknown amount of time they had together; but Claire promised to do her best.

Claire wasn't the only one to realize that with Mr. Randall gone their conversations were no longer guarded and that worried Faith. She was starting to doubt the other reason for coming here. She wouldn't lie, but the truth might not be the best to tell. Not anymore.

With the realization on both parts there was awkwardness in this new found freedom. They both sat silently at the table the next morning floundering on finding where to begin. Claire not being one to stay silent long jumped head first into the conversation with something easy. She asked of Faith's past times and joys at Lallybroch.

Faith told her of the most obvious, her healing and her inherited book and medicine box. She mentioned the objects in the medicine box she'd left behind, Objects Faith like to go over of carry with her like good luck charms. Claire had forgotten half of the things in those boxes. The knowledge of Culloden looming on them on those final weeks at Lallybroch, Claire had focused on what she would need to take with her. She was glad that her things had meant something to Faith in her absence.

They chatted of their shared possessions. Faith talked about her bracelets and Claire told her how Jenny had given them to her learning later that Murtagh had been Ellen's admirer. Faith asked her if it was true the stone on gold mounting could actually change color in the presence of poison. Claire reluctantly said yes, choosing to leave out the unfortunate circumstance she witnessed the stone change color.

Faith expressed the joy she had for riding through the property on her gelding. She described pushing Icarus as fast as she could to get the feeling of flying. She admitted to foregoing riding sidesaddle as a lady should, when she could get away with it. With no actual society near Lallybroch it was almost always.

"Your father would have liked that, knowing you took to riding. "

Faith became silent. "Aye" she finally said. Claire took this as sadness on never getting to know Jamie. She could understand that emptiness. Not just having Jamie taken from you, but the emptiness of being an orphan. Of not having a father or mother to look to. How many times during her years as a teenager did she wonder about her own parents. Lamb had always been enough of a parental figure for her, but It did not stop her wondering.

Claire cleared her throat trying to push on through to a new subject, but Faith continued on.

"Auntie wasn't best pleased about not ridings side saddle. She did her best to raise me as a lady. She said Da was a gentleman and you were a woman of gentle birth. I should be raised as such. "

"You don't agree." It wasn't a question.

"I have no land or title. No dowry , and no prospects. I do not see why I must put on airs. "

"I find it hard to believe you wouldn't have any prospects. I always imagined you'd find something for yourself. Clearly you have healing. I thought you might have married. Is there a young man waiting for you back home?"

"Nay, most of the men leave to where there are better job opportunities, usually England, or they join the highland regiment. I have no interest in marrying a soldier, especially one who fights for a king that does not care for his supposed people. No, there is no one."

"I'm sure there's a young man holding a candle for you. You just don't know it yet. "

"I wouldna' not say that. "Claire raised her eyebrow in a questioning manner. Faith blushed embarrassed about what she would say next.

"Well Da will always be considered Laird Broch Turach. The folk understand why he deeded Jamie Lallybroch. Out of respect for that, young men from nearby tended to steer clear. Those that didn't did so because they believe the stories about ye."

"About me?"

"That ye were a wise woman or fairy or even a witch. With my interests for herbs and medicines I don't doubt their mothers told them to stay well away from me."

"I'm sorry to have caused that trouble for you."

"T'cha. Tis only gossip. Besides I did not help matters much."

Claire nodded for her to go on.

"Happened a long time ago. I was thirteen, but I should have known better. Andrew McNab, I think wanted to prove something. Dinna ken what exactly, but he asked if he could help me collect herbs. I agreed, not thinking much of it. We spoke a bit. I told him what to look for and next thing I ken he went in for a kiss and next he knew he was on the ground with a growing bruise. I was so angry dinna ken what I yelled at him just that I made such a skelloch that grew enough attention to bring a group over to us and that I threw my basket of herbs at him before storming off.

She joined Claire laughing when she finished. The two enjoying their fits of giggles.

"You slapped him?!"

"I punched him. He's lucky I didn't break his nose. All he got was a bloody nose for his trouble."

"Well he deserved it."

"That's what grannie McNabb told him when he went crying to her."

"He didn't!"

"Aye, he did. When she found out he dragged him back to the house by the ear to apologize to me formally. He rushed out like a dog with its tail between its legs. Had his granny howling with laughter, God rest her soul. She warned him about disrespecting the Fraser's after everything the Laird had done for them. 'To turn around and disrespect the lady so is a sin', she said."

"I don't see how that small action when you where thirteen made things worse?"

"With granny McNabb coming down for a formal apology and with the skelloch I made, the lads easily got wind of it. I was never told who it was, but I would not have put it past Fergus and young Jamie to have done it and I'm sure Rabbie got involved as well. He and Fergus were always thick as thieves. Next time I saw Andrew McNabb he had a black eye and a split lip. All he did was avert his eyes and shuffle off before I could even ask what had happened."

"Well serves him right. I bet he learned about not giving unwanted advances on young ladies, especially when they can fight back. "

"Aye, but it didn't endear anyone to me after that. "

There was a pause before Faith continued.

"There was someone...it did not end well. He was a soldier. Had visited Lallybroch during the army's unwelcome visits. Then began frequenting on patrol. Did not think much of it at first until he began finding reasons to speak with me. I was weary at first. Everyone was."

Claire held her breath waiting.

"I thought, well does not matter what I thought. He led me to believe he wanted to court me. Told me he loved me and didna care I was Scots. I grew to like him. I almost admitted I loved him...it was all a sham. The English learned I was Jamie Fraser's daughter. Up till then, they thought I was a Murray. They thought if I married a Englishman, then the Crown could obtain Broch Turach legally. My husband could appeal the Deed of Sasine on my behalf, they wanted to claim Da left no will , not realizing the deed was dated and signed well before Culloden. He had right to transfer the estate to anyone he wished with the deed. I caught on quickly enough, he started askin' about Da and you. Then young Jaime and Lallybroch. He was always focused on the estate. When he started talkin' off marriage and my dowry and making a claim on my behalf I called it off, but my trust was damaged by then. He did not take it well either. Let his feelings be known, he did. Laid out his plan and called me daft for not seeing it."

Claire did the only thing to instinctively come to mind in that moment. She wrapped an arm around Faith's shoulder, pulling Faith to her. Looking back she realized it might have been too familiar with her. Faith might have reacted negatively to it, but she did it instinctively like she would have with Brianna. She was rewarded with Faith resting her head on her shoulder and a warm feeling in her chest. She smiled resting her cheek atop her head.

"If a man isn't willing to put himself out there for you and damn the consequences, then perhaps he doesn't deserve you. Love isn't easy. Sacrifices are usually made, on both sides, but love means ... and the right man will realize that being different is what makes you the one he wants. When you do find a man, hang onto him. Don't try to change him. You'll learn you can't. Just like he'll learn he can't change you either, so don't let him."

How many times had Claire imagined something like this. How many nights had she worried that Faith would marry too young, like the girls of her time, and come to regret her lack of opportunities. The relief to hear that she was finding her way still, and the feeling of being able to give some motherly advice.

"You know I always wondered if you would marry at a young age. I know in your time, you're considered a woman and its perfectly normal, but I worried all the same. In this time you would have had so many more opportunities than marrying and having children. You could have chosen to wait and go to university, get a job you wanted. I wondered if you'd hate me for not bringing you with me. "

"I could never hate you, mam. Not now, not ever. I'll admit that I was angry for a time. It's not something I can explain, but I slowly realized that it gave me more freedom than if I had inherited Lallybroch. Very little was expected of me and it gave more choices. Dinna fash about me finding a man, Aunt Jenny is always on the hunt for suitors, but she's not one to force it on ye. Maggie married not too long ago. Nice lad, treats her well. She absolutely loves him. Kitty is anxious for her turn, believe it or not. I joked that I would let her help me at the next childbirth and see if she was still of a mind to wed. "

"Did Jenny and Ian not have any more children?. "

"Oh aye, Michel and Janet came next and then finally young Ian. "

"She had twins ?"

"Aye."

"And young jaime? "

They continued on like that. Faith recounting life with her cousins at Lallybroch. She talked of the tenants, those that moved away, those that hadn't made it through sickness and famine. There would hardly be any one who remembered Claire, save from stories and rumors. She now understood why the folk gave easily to believing those notions and how it affected Faith.

  
Relief filled her when Faith told her that all the Lallybroch men had returned unscathed from Culloden, but was devastate when Faith told her of the Crown's ongoing harassment of the estate. It shouldn't have surprised her, she knew it would happen if she were there.

In the following days Faith helped Claire around the house. The two took trips into the city. Claire thought it best to take the time to prepare for Christmas while Frank and Bree were out of the house. It would help getting her shopping done before having to return to the hospital. There was one thing Claire had in mind for her and Faith. It had occur to Claire that she had nothing of Faith's, but the memory of her. With an unknown amount of time with her, she decided to remedy that situation and obtain a gift for Faith in the process.

"If you can raise your chin up please. Thank you." Said the man behind, what Claire told her was a camera.

"Now smile. " she did as a flash of light, like lightning, momentarily blinded her.

"Alright, that's it for the individual portrait." Faith relaxed her shoulder. The photographer turned to Claire next.

"If you can stand behind her the group portrait?"

"Of course." Replied Claire.

Faith had seen the portraits at the house and Claire's office. She worried that if Mr. Randall saw the portraits of her and her mother, it would reveal to him just how much Faith meant to Claire. Despite this, Faith said nothing of her concerns because of the genial happiness and excitement Claire's want for this caused.

It was easy for Faith to talk to Claire, there was an ease in confiding in her mother that she never experienced with her aunt. Confessing of her anger in previous years felt like a relief. It was a guilt that she had hidden in herself for some time. She was embarrassed at admitting to her the reason for the lack of interest in courting and marrying. It was a sore spot that she hated to admit even to herself, the idea of being unwanted. With her mother there's was no lack of judgement only understanding and unconditional love.

It was with this in mind that a guilt continued to grow in her. Faith had been honest in all but one issue. She had not told Claire about her Da. With a continuing understanding of the life her mother had made in this time for herself and sister, she could not be the one to destroy it with the revelation that Jamie Fraser had survived Culloden.

Reasons to keep it to herself continued to rise in her mind anytime she saw her mother or a photograph of Brianna. Her sister would not go back, of that she was sure. Her life was here, in this time. It was the only life she had known and Frank Randall was the only father she will ever have. She told herself that this was the right thing to do. She would not make Claire choose between the life she'd made and the life she left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next month we take another look at the past.


	14. Faith and the Documents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie's letter to Claire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy the new chapter on the eve of Outlander season 3 finale.

1761,  
Lallybroch

  
Faith had been on her way out when she spotted her aunt.

"Auntie, I'll beheading out soon. Do you need anything before I go?"

"Nay. With your uncle gone I just have to wait for Jaime's returns from Inverness to go over the ledgers. "

"I could do it Auntie. Besides, by the time Jaime returns he won't have time to go over the ledgers and then go around to the tenants. "

"Are you sure Faith. I know you'll be going to check on the snares and collect some herbs. I dinna want to keep you any more than I can."

"I don't mind. Gives Jamie one less thing to worry about when he returns. He's beside himself with the wedding. I never seen him so nervous. " She laughed.

"Aye well you're a blessing. Thank you. I'm sure it won't be too long before it's your wedding we're planning."

"I highly doubt that Auntie." Faith said reluctantly. "None of the men seem all that interested. Then there's still Maggie to consider."

"Is this about Andrew McNab ? That was ages ago. Ye were merely a girl. And what of that soldier that took a liking to ye. Not that I encourage ye to run off with an Englishman, especially a soldier, But men are certainly interested."

"That man was only interested in me because he thought I had a claim on Lallybroch. Whose to say anyone else thinks the same."

"Ye do have a claim-"

"Don't Auntie. We've been over this. Da gave Lallybroch to Jamie. And for good reason, too. I dinna want it. "  
  
"Regardless, You're a beautiful lass with skills that would interest any man. You'd make a wonderful wife. Sooner than you expect, you'll have someone to prove that to."

"I'm sure you're right auntie. I best get to the ledgers." She said quietly.

With the wedding approaching, Jenny had sent Faith and Maggie upstairs the following day to look through old trunks for dresses and waistcoat that could be mended and altered for the wedding.

"There's so much junk here. We dinna even use these things." Maggie commented at the dusted trunks in storage.

"Aye, we do. Ye just don’t like looking coming up here with the rest of us, when we need to. Here, " Faith said handing her a rag to dust off the dirt. "Ye start up here. I'll work at the far end and hopefully we won't have to meet up in the middle if we find what were looking fer. There should be a trunk with grannies dresses and another with my parents belongings. "

The two quickly got to work. Talking and giggling about the up coming nuptials in between their searching. During their searching, though, Maggie fell into a fit of sneezing.

"I wish we could open a window up here. " she said after regaining her breath.

"I'm afraid you're out of luck. Go out and get some air for a bit while the dust settles. I'll keep searching here. "

It didn't take Faith long after that to find what she was searching for. The dresses were beautiful and finely made. Too many were too fine, more appropriate for a king's court. While many were much too fine for a wedding in the highlands, she was able to find two that could be altered and taken in. Putting away the rest of the dresses, she took her time and care to admire the colorful silks and and embroidered fabrics. As she was putting away the last dress, a soft thud landed at her feet.

She stooped down to see it was a small stack of letters wrapped in twine. Three to be precise. The top read: _To Claire my beloved Wife_. Her breathe caught as she debated whether to read what was obviously something personal.

Footsteps coming up the stairs made her hastily place the letters in the folds of the dresses.

"Did ye find them then?" Maggie asked as she returned.

"Found what?"

"The dresses daftie. What else?"

"Aye, a waistcoat too. I found just one of the trunks. Still need to find the one with grannies things. I'll take these down to Auntie and come back to help ye."

Faith carefully made her way downstairs stopping to place the letters in a trunk in her room. She'd decide later on whether to read the letters, she told herself.

It took another week before she thought about the letters again. With the wedding, Aunt Jenny kept anyone with even a moment's reprieve a job to do. That included Faith. When she wasn't tending to one of the tenant, she was helping with the wedding preparations or tending to someone who was injured during said wedding preparations. Her days ended with her returning to bed and falling asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

The wedding day came and everything went flawlessly. The bride and groom smitten with each other throughout. Lallybroch hosted the guest after the ceremony. The food, music, and whiskey raising an already cheerful crowd to a new level of merriment.

You'd think it where Hogmany the way the lassess giggled to each other waiting for a brave lad to ask for a dance. Maggie scouted out potential men for Faith to be introduced to; as if she hadn't already met every man from here to Broch Morda. Instead of helping her sister in embarrassing their cousin, Kitty was taking it upon herself to see who struck her fancy. There was no confusing who their mother was, Faith thought as she tried to hide her enjoyment in her cousins antics.

The gathering went well into the night. Those who lived too far from the house were found some bed rolls by the fire in the parlor or in spare rooms. Faith made her way up the stairs to her own room. Her cheeks flushed pink from dancing and drinking. She had helped her aunt tidy up before heading to bed. As she dressed for bed, she noticed the letters tucked neatly into the side of the trunk where she'd left them.

She took them with her to bed, leaving them on top of the bedside table as she got comfortable. While she was tired, the excitement of the day seemed to stay with her, keeping her from falling asleep. She brought the candle closer as she undid the twine keeping the letter together.

Faith felt trepidation as she unbound the letters. There were three each with a different date spanning the seven years Jamie Fraser had hid in a cave. Faith wondered if there had been more and her father simply didn't bother to keep. They were for her mother, did she have any right to read the private words of a man writing to the wife he lost? And They were private of that Faith was sure. Why else would they be hidden in a trunk filled with memories of Claire Fraser tucked away, out of sight?

Faith considered this dilemma for sometime, but continued to come to the conclusion that reading the letters, while an invasion of privacy. It was better to invade the privacy of a living man, that to read the letters posthumously if she never saw her father again.

The first two letters where unremarkable comparison to the last. All three were addressed to her mother. The description of dearest, beloved and wife alternatively used or discarded perhaps on the mood of the day. Faith knew her father had trouble writing for long periods of time and as such the first two letters were brief but descriptive of life at Lallybroch, but mostly described Faith at various stages of her early years. The out pouring of her father's pride visible in every line as he described some achievement or other of hers. It brought a smile to her lips and caused her grief at her father's absence.

It was the third letter that caught her attention; specifically, the date. It was dated days before his capture, the night before he left Lallybroch. Longer than the two previous letters, the last letter was much more intimate. His confession of escaping Culloden and what he planned to do next. It brought tears to her eyes remembering him leaving. Faith read the third letter once more before blowing out the candle.

_My Dearest Wife Claire,_

_I have come to realize that I've never explained my Miraculous escape from the British at Culloden. At the time, Miraculous was the last thing I would consider it as, knowing that you, my soul, were gone and would never return to this place._

_You perhaps remember the young lad that made an attempt on my life on our way to Trenent. Young Master Grey, having sworn a debt of life, was found by his older brother, the Earl of Melton, and informed of what happened._

_It was the Earl and a Secretary that found a remainder of us ( mostly injured) in a farmhouse after the battle. I was injured with fever and was looking forward to being shot and have everything done with. ( I do not write this to solicit your Sympathy, only to show you how poorly I faired in the short time without you)._

_The Earl was not understanding of my position and felt it was up to him to dispatch the debt of honor his brother had incurred. Thus, I was hauled into a wagon and sent to Lallybroch, with the hope I died on the way from fever. It was my hope as well._

_Jenny was of different mind. I do not have to tell you how stubborn my Dear Sister is. The only comfort in the painful event was Our Daughter's small body sneaking past Jenny to keep me company in the night._

_My stay in the Priests hole was not long. A well hidden cave on the property became my new residence. It was not easy, the Winters were difficult and like most of Scotland, food was scarce. I was reassured In the precautions that were taken thanks to your valuable Knowledge. If there was one Success in our attempts to change things, I am relieved it was this._

_With this Knowledge I endeavored to forget both Cold and Hunger in pleasant thoughts of you, hoping that your Image could lend me the Illusion of your Company in that wretched place. I seldom traveled to the house. When I did it was with the little meat I could provide from hunting and snares that I set and checked regularly. It was enough for a time._

_The Red Coats never stopped their searching and I have decided to stop it for them. The reason why I write this letter now. I have planned my capture by the Red Coats. This, I hope will alleviate the Crowns treatment of my family and provide funds desperately needed for Lallybroch and it's residents to continue. The reward for my capture is sizable and will be something to lean on should we have bad crops in the future. It is the only thing left I can provide for them, for Faith._

_Faith worries me the most. While she's grown she continues to stay small compared to Maggie and Kitty. You had explained your worries of her birth to me, it seems like ages ago, but it continues to stay with me. She falls frequently ill. At times I am not made aware of it until my next visit to the house. There came a time when I thought I might truly loose her._

_I wondered had it not been best to send her with you and the bairn. Send her where she might have a mother and a younger siblings in her life. Her health would not be a concern with you beyond the stones. Her safety, like yours , would be assured._

_Am I so selfish to admit that I regretted the thought immediately? To lose you as well as her would be my undoing. She has been the only source of light in my life since I sent you back. I've admired the way she's grown and shows more and more of you each day. I will regret not seeing her do so after I leave, but I do it for her sake._  
  
_I yearn to lie beside you again, and perhaps, if I am unfortunate in my capture,I will not have to wait two hundred years to do so again._  
 _Thus, with Assurance of my most tender Thoughts,I bid you goodbye._  
 _Your Most Devoted Husband,_  
 _James Fraser_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this month, hope you enjoyed it. I Hope everyone enjoys the finale and the beginning of Droughtlander during the holidays. I personally will be cuddling up with a bottle of Bowmore trying to write the next chapter.   
> Until next month !


	15. Overheard conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith's resolve is cemented

**December 1965,**

**Boston**

 

The freedom that Claire and Faith had reveled in was going to end. It was inevitable. That freedom ended too soon for both of them. With most errands done, Claire decided that she would show Faith the little she could about the Beauchamp side of the family. 

 

There weren't many things to begin with. Uncle lamb, ever the historian, had preserved what little there was into a couple of boxes. Like most things that are never used, those boxes were stored in the attic of the house on Furey street.  

 

It was there that Frank and Brianna found the two sitting on sturdy boxes, hunched over laughing. Claire was recounting one of the trips she and Uncle Lamb had taken, where there had been a miscommunication.  

 

Frank cleared his throat as Claire came to the tail end of the story.  

 

"I see you're still at work, looking for a lead. Odd you haven't found anything yet." Frank said. 

 

"You're back. Did you have a good time?" Claire asked.  

 

"Everything went well. You look surprised to see us. " 

 

"Well we've been so busy. We've lost track of time." Claire said standing and dusting off her skirt.  

 

"I see that. Time flies when you're having fun. " he said almost sounding like an accusation.  

 

"Well it's hard not to see Uncle Lambs things and not reminisce. You understand." 

 

"Of course. Well Bree and I have some unpacking to do." He said turning around leaving.  

 

Faith and Claire turned to each other a silent understanding between them. The openness that they had the last couple of days was over. They were back to being niece and aunt, nothing more.  

 

Dinner was a quiet occasion. Mr. Randall's attitude toward Faith hadn't changed. In fact, he outright ignored her as if there wasn't a fourth person at the table. Faith preferred it this way.  

 

The following day  Bree excitedly approached Faith and Claire in the attic with an offer. 

 

"A few friends are getting together in Harvard Square. I'm going and I was wondering if you wanted to join.  Figured I'd get you out of this stuffy attic for a bit. Take a break, you know?" 

 

Faith was surprised at first, but was quickly reluctant to accept. A part of her wanted to go along, but the other part knew she would seem out of place.  

 

"She's right you know. " Faith turned to Claire. " You should go. Have fun for a bit. It wouldn't hurt." 

 

"Ye sure I won't be a bother?" Faith asked Brianna. 

 

"I wouldn't have asked if I thought you were. So what do you say?" 

 

"Alright." 

 

That evening they both bundle into Brianna's car and make their way to Harvard square. It was small, but crowded. The place reminds Faith of the public houses they would stop into on their supply trips to Inverness. Obviously much cleaner and  modern in this century, but a public house all the same. Groups of young men and women gathered around tables others sat around the bar. Everyone seemed to be talking and chatting amiable over the music playing.  

 

Brianna led her to a table already occupied by a two girls. Bree introduced Faith to her friends, Madeleine and Amanda. They asked Faith about living in Scotland and admired her accent for some reason. Faith wasn't sure how to reply to their comments other than say thank you. Brianna, seeing how overwhelmed Faith was, changed the topic to her trip and what she had missed. Madeleine and Amanda needed nothing else to fill in Brianna on the latest news. 

 

They talked, ate and from time to time a classmate or friend of Bree's would stop by to say hello. Faith noted how familiar everyone was in this time. No formal introduction had to be made, no one seemed to care about reputations. Faith was quiet through most of it. Answering questions when she was asked, but mostly observing how simple everything seemed. She watched how carefree and comfortable Brianna was here.  _This was where she belongs. How would she react to the truth?_ _What am I doing?_ she asked herself.  

 

"I know my friends can be a bit much. I hope everything was okay. You were kinda quiet." Bree said on the drive back.  

 

"Everything was fine. I'm just not used to so many people in one place. I hope I didn't offend your friends. " 

 

"I get it. Dont worry. Madeleine and Amanda seemed to like you."  

 

"I'm glad. They were verra nice. I hope I didn't seem rude. " 

 

"Oh don't worry about that. I think they were more concerned with Beth dumping Jimmy after school. " 

 

"It's so strange to me." 

 

"Why? Girls don't dump their boyfriends in Scotland?" 

 

"I dinna ken how to explain it. There's not many people back home. Ehm... everyone kens everyone else and everyone's known you your whole life. People expect things. And try to influence your decision. Persuade ye to consider a lad. It causes trouble when two people are together and one or both decide against it. Sometimes there's bad blood. Folk get offended and highlanders have long memories. " 

 

"That sounds terrible. You can't really date can you?" 

 

"Actions have consequences. In everything, not just dating. Reputations mean something and ruining your reputation could ruin everything." 

 

"Sounds like you know that from experience. Did you date the wrong person Faith?" Brianna asked, concern laced her words. 

 

"In a way. I wasn't cautious about a man's interest in me, when I had every reason to be." 

 

"What happened?" 

 

"He broke my heart, it could have been worse. He would have ruined my family." 

 

"Is that why you're looking for your mother? You want to leave them and live with her." 

 

"No. Maybe... I dinna ken anymore. She must have a whole other life. She probably has a whole other family. what would she need me for?" 

 

"She wouldn't, but you don't need her either. The fact that you all exist is what matters. Being acknowledged matters. Getting to know them matters. If not your life will always be a giant 'what if'." 

 

"Yer verra smart Brianna." She said admiration showing in her eyes. 

 

"If ye were me and ye found her...." Faith continued cautiously. "Say ye talked and she had a good reason for leaving. Ye saw she had a good life with a husband and children, maybe a successful career. Even if it wasn't perfect. If you saw that, would you ask her to go back with you? Would you even consider making her leave all she done to make that new life? What of her children? Would ye selfishly change their lives for something they might not understand or want to?" She asked in earnest as she came up to the curb. She needed to know. 

 

Brianna turned off the engine and stared at the steering wheel. "Your right. It is a difficult decision. They might end up hating you. Then you would just have this whole new family that doesn't even acknowledge you in the end..."she said reaching for her things. "Oh no! " 

 

"What is it?" Faith asked startled.  

 

"I must have left my wallet on the table. Here, " she said passing a key to Faith. " I'll have to drive back to see if it's there." 

 

"Do you want me to come with ye?" 

 

"No, it's alright. Better if you go inside and explain where I've gone to." 

 

"Alright. Be careful." Faith said stepping out  of the car and Bree pulled away, driving back the way they came. Faith took a second to see the car turn the corner and turned toward the house. The lights of the Christmas tree that Mr. Randall and Brianna had put up that morning could be seen from the street.  

 

The house was quiet as she entered leaving the key on the table by the door. She looked about, but saw no one. She made her way to the guest room when she caught a murmur of voices coming from the bedroom down the hall. She knew she shouldn't eavesdrop, but the voices were hushed and serious. Faith nearned to listen better. 

 

"Oh and how long will she be here then?" Frank's voice came through the door. 

 

"Frank we are still looking-" Claire's voice answered. 

 

"I know she is not looking for her mother." 

 

"Frank that's ridiculous. What reason would she have to say that?!" 

 

"She's not telling the truth about who she is, and you know that. " 

 

"Now, you're accusing me-" 

 

Faith couldn't hear anymore. She removed herself from the door and quietly made her way to her room. Silently shutting the door, A part of her grateful that these doors didn't creek. Actions have consequences, she had told Brianna. 

 

Sitting at the desk, she caught her breath. She had made her decision before this, but what she had overheard had steeled her resolve. With a sense of purpose she took out all three letters in her pack and left them on the desk next to her. After searching in the drawers she found a sheet of paper and pen. 

 

She wrote for a time, making sure she's clear about what she wants to say. She signed it and opened Grey's Anatomy and placed her letter and her father's last letter in between its pages. She slipped down stairs and placed the book in a visible place on the shelf. The next morning, Faith tells Claire that it's time for her to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope ya'll enjoyed this months chapter!  
> Till next month!


	16. Conversation By the Hearth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a young Faith hears another conversation about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter. It's a bit short, but it's a short month. Enjoy!

February 1753  
Lallybroch

Fergus was hurt. It was a phrase that Faith had repeated to herself for the last two days since the soldiers had carried him to the house. The stump of his hand wrapped in a piece of cloth. The captain, in some form of regret had given Aunt Jenny a gold sovereign as they made their way out. As if that somehow a gold sovereign would make up for Fergus' hand. Once they had settled Fergus into a bed in the nursery and dressed his wound, Faith had stayed with him, curled to his side.

The threat of the English still near had silenced the house. Only the demand for supplies could be heard carried out. She had stayed there, taking meals with Fergus and pushing him to drink the brew her auntie had made. She felt some relief when she saw her father's tall form come through the door.

"Da!" She breathed as she rushed to his side. Jamie was already on his knee taking in Faith's form into his arms. He held her tight to his chest. He expelled a breath he didn't realize he's been holding. Seeing Faith and Fergus together alleviated part of his concern.

"Faith," Jenny called from the door. "Why don't ye come wi' me te get ye cleaned up?" She said, taking her hand and leading her out the door.

She and Aunt Jenny were waiting for him when he left Fergus's room.

_"Come down to the priest hole wi' me," he said, taking her by the elbow. " I need to talk wi' ye a bit , and I shouldna stay in the open longer."_

Jenny nodded as he let go and he bent down to face Faith. " Ye go on back to Fergus, Lass. Your Auntie and I need to talk. Ye take care alright. Stay out of trouble and listen to yer auntie."

"Are ye leaving so soon?"

"Aye, I must. Now go." He said sternly. Standing he walked down the stairs.

Young Jamie had come in not too long after to tell her that his mam had gone down into the priest hole to see to her Da. It was late into the night and she hadn't returned. Everyone had been put to bed when Faith heard the latch to the door close. Fergus did not stir, perhaps due to the generous amount of whisky he had been given.

She didn't need to guess that her father had returned to the cave. Aunt Jenny was quiet the days following Jamie's departure. She seemed to be deep in thought. Faith had caught her looking at her from time to time. Whenever Faith asked if she needed anything Jenny would tense and send her off on an errand.

It was her Uncle Ian's return from the gaol that changed things. It came to an obvious relief to everyone, especially Jenny. Her relief was different than it had been on previous occasions. While Aunt Jenny was relieved, she was still tense. Seeming to look for the right occasion to talk to uncle Ian.

Faith continued to stay with Fergus at night. Aunt Jenny allowed it when Faith began to have nightmares of Fergus being hurt. She'd sneak into the nursery where fergus continued to sleep. The night Uncle Ian returned Faith had snuck downstairs when everyone was abed. It wasn't unusual for her to filch something from the kitchen to nibble on at night.

When she reached the bottom step of the servants stairs she heard the murmur of voices coming from the Laird's study. Avoiding the squeeky floorboards, Faith got as close to the door as she could without being seen. They were talking about Fergus.

"You think he'll be fine?"

"Aye, for now, but that's not my concern right now."

"What is then?"

"It's jamie."

"What's he done now? Did the English see him?"

"Nay, but this incident with Fergus has made him think of his position here. He wants to give himself over to the English."

"Christ is he mad! They'll hang him."

"He thinks he'll be imprisoned."

"How would he Ken that?"

Jenny gave him a knowing look.

"Claire?" he whispered.

"Aye. He says she had the sight that she knew what was to happen after Culloden."

"Its why she wanted us to plant potatoes." He said in realization.

"What good will turning himself over to the English do. And what of Faith? He's just going to leave her without a father?" He continued angrily.

"He wants to be turned in for the money on his head."

"Who does he have in mind to betray him? I certainly won't do it."

"He thinks Joe Fraser will be a good choice. That gold would help keep Lallybroch from starving for a while yet; especially if we have another bad crop like we did last year. As for Faith, we do what we've always vowed we'd do. We care for her just like the rest of our bairns. We keep the promise we made to him and Claire before they left to fight in the rebellion."

"And Jamie?"

"He's promised to look after himself, but there no changing his mind this time, not after what happened to Fergus. All we can do now is make the arrangements and pray everything runs smoothly. He promised he'd come before he had to leave to say goodbye. Oh Ian-"

" a Ghraidh..."

Faith couldn't hear anymore of it. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. Rushing back to Fergus' room she fell apart when she reached his bed, crying over the news. Thinking she had had another nightmare, Fergus didn't question the inconsolable Faith. As he tried to sooth her, Faith vowed she'd do everything she could to keep her father here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it.  
> Hope you enjoyed it and it gives you some idea as to Faith's thoughts in her current situation in the 20th century.
> 
> Till next month!


	17. Morality for Time Travelers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of many goodbyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. I hope ya'll are as excited about reading it as i was about writing it.

December 1965, 

Boston 

 

Claire was stunned. Time seemed to stop as Faith said it was time for her to leave. In some part of her mind Claire knew this would happen eventually, she had expected it, but it was too soon. They hadn't had enough time.  In many ways that seem to be her relationship with Faith; never having enough time. 

 

"I heard ye talking with Mr. Randall last night. I didn't mean to. I was on my way to the bedroom. Brianna had forgotten something and had to go back. She dropped me off..." 

 

"Oh darling, that was nothing -" 

 

"He's right." Claire quieted instantly. She paused before she continued, forming her next question carefully. 

 

"What do you mean he's right?" 

 

"He  _is_  right. I dinna belong here. It's time for me to go back." 

 

"Of course you belong here... you're family.  _Our family_." She emphasized.  

 

"Aye, but this is'na my time. This is your time and place, yours and Brianna's. I have a family waiting for me. They're probably out of their minds worried for me.  I left without a proper explanation. How do ye explain this without sounding mad?"  

 

A look of understanding crossed Claire's face. It was painful, but Faith had convinced her. "Give me a few days," she said resigned. "to make arrangements for you. Your glasses should be ready soon. And we should let Mrs. Graham know you'll be returning too. Did she give you any information to contact her."  

 

"Aye it's in my bag." With that the two stood to retrieve what they needed.  

 

Claire spent the next few days making phone calls. Mrs. Graham was happy to hear from Claire and glad that Faith had made it safely. While dejected that Faith would be returning so soon, she was appreciative that she was entrusted with Faith's safe return.  

 

Faith had one request for Claire, that Bree would not be told until everything was finalized. Faith didn't want to give Brianna a chance to change her mind. The day before her departure, Brianna confronted her. 

 

"So it's true. You're leaving." Bree says from her spot on the door, arms crossed, watching Faith pack her meager belongings.  

 

"Aye. It's time I left. I've spent too much time here. My aunt and uncle will be worried about me." 

 

"But you haven't found her!" Faith looked up from her packing. She hadn't expected such an outburst from Brianna; to even care if she found her mother.  

 

"You came all this way to find her." Bree pointed out the lengths Faith had gone through, not knowing the half of it. 

 

"Yer right, but sometimes it's better to live life than to chase a ghost forever. It's better than finding out she's  probably living a life perfectly fine without ye." 

 

"You don't know that. " 

 

"No, but I choose not to be consumed by it anymore." 

 

"Can't you stay a little while longer? We can spend actual time together." The question alone caused a wretched feeling in Faith. 

 

"I wish I could, but my family will be gey worried about me." 

 

"Will you at least write?" 

 

"I dinna ken if that will be possible. Once my uncle and aunt get wind of what I've been up to, who kens if I'll ever see daylight again." She joked.  

 

"Right. " Bree said dejected. 

 

"Brianna. I'm sorry-" 

 

"No it's okay." She cut in. "It's stupid of me to even suggest. We hardly know each other. " She said quickly exiting the room. Faith had to stop the impulse to go after her. She had hurt Brianna. She realized this, but it was probably for the best under the circumstances. She had expected something like this would happen, but she very well couldn't tell her they couldn't write each other because she was traveling two hundred years in the past.  

 

Dinner was a quiet event. Brianna was unwilling to talk and Mr. Randall refused to, leaving Claire and Faith with the brunt of the conversation. Claire pushed the conversation forward, making light of the awkwardness at the table. She understood Brianna's anger and expected the stubbornness. She ran through the plan of driving Faith to the airport the next day hoping to get something out of her.  

 

Getting nothing, she tried a different tactic, hoping the sisters would not leave things strained. She admired how well Faith's new glasses looked, having received them that afternoon. Faith unenthusiastically thanked her. Her eyes never leaving her plate as she pushed her peas around. Bree looked like she wanted to say something, but remembered herself. Silence followed broken only by the sound of silverware.  

 

She woke the next morning to sound of  Brianna and Mr. Randall readying for school and work. Having what little she had already packed all Faith did was dress.  

 

A hesitant knock on her door surprised her. Opening it she found Brianna on the other side. In her hand she had a scrap of paper.   

 

"Here." She said shoving the scrap of paper to her. "In case you change your mind. Your uncle and aunt have to let you out at some point."  

 

Faith took the paper cautiously, seeing a messy scrawl with the Randall's address on it. It was a pointless gesture considering Faith already had the Randall's address , but seeing it left Faith speechless. Bree continued, " I hope you have a safe flight, Faith. Maybe I'll visit Scotland someday." She said wistfully as she turned to go downstairs.  Faith stared at the paper a bit longer before folding in and stuffing it in her bag.  

 

"You're doing the right thing, you know." Faith jumped at the sound of Mr. Randall's voice. He took a step into the room only to be stopped short at Faith taking a step back.  

 

"I wanted to apologize for how I behaved I-" 

 

"I ken why ye did it. I do, doesn't make it any better. " It continued to surprise Frank to see the resemblances between Faith and Claire. How easily the two showed their displeasure with a defiant jut of their chin. 

 

"You were lying. " He replied simply. 

 

"I wasn't. I was looking for my mam." She responded firmly. She scoffed, " Doesn't matter anymore. I didn't find her. I hope life treats ye well Mr. Randall, better than ye treated me any way." 

 

Mr. Randall opened his mouth to respond only to be cut off by a shout from downstairs. "Faith?!" 

 

"Take care of them, Mr.Randall." She said sincerely, lifting her bag onto her shoulder and making her way downstairs. 

 

The drive to the airport was quiet. Claire tried not to force a conversation, hoping Faith would offer something voluntarily. Anything that could be said, had already been said in the past few days. Claire had been fighting the urge to turn the car around since they turned the corner from Furey street.  

 

At the airport they stood awkwardly by the gate, both refusing to say goodbye first. 

 

"I suppose I should give you this before you go. " Claire sighed, reaching into her purse. She extracted a velvet box.  

 

"I thought you should have something to remember me, us, by. Something to keep with you. I know you have my things back at Lallybroch, but..."  Faith stared at the box curiously. The velvet of the box, soft against her palm. 

 

"well open it." She urged. Faith slowly opened the box, pulling the top up, and gasped. Nestled inside was a silver chained locket. The locket was round with a thistle. The thistle itself was an emerald stone. The glossy green shining from the light above.  

 

"Uncle Ian would call me a wee thistle sometimes. He said I was like one. Wee and fragile looking, but could prick someone if they weren't careful." 

 

"It's your birthstone, the emerald. And inside. " She said popping the locket open. "Is a picture of us and of Bree." 

 

The photo was the one they had taken together. And on the other side was a recent photo of Brianna. Faith was speechless. Looking up to meet Claire's eyes she hugged her. Her glasses misting over from her tears. She had promised herself she wouldn't cry. The both had.  

 

"You don't have to do this you know. You can stay here with me, with us. You don't have to go." Claire said into Faith's hair. Finding it impossible to let go. They had had this conversation before, so Claire knew what would come next as Faith shook her head removing herself from Claire's embrace. 

 

"I thought about it, but this is what I must do." Claire nodded drying her eyes, but understanding. Once a Fraser has made up their mind...stubborn, she thought. 

 

"Though, the warm baths almost convinced me to stay." Faith smiled faintly. Claire's eyes misted over once more. 

 

"I said the same thing to your father a long time ago." The mention of her father dampened Faith already low spirits.  

 

"You never talk about him?" Faith said this partly as a fact and partly as an excuse for never bringing him up. 

 

"I know. And I'm sorry, but it's not a part of my life I talk about, ever. It's too painful for me." As she said this, Faith felt the color in her face drain as a sinking pit in her stomach appeared. Guilt.  

 

"No. No, I'm sorry." Faith said earnestly hoping for some type of absolution to her unspoken wrongdoing.  

 

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Claire said with conviction. She too trying to remove the guilt she'd harbored all these years for leaving Faith behind.  

 

"Gray's Anatomy." Faith said in a panic. 

 

"What?" 

 

"Yer book. I didn't return it to ye." Her voice turning desperate. 

 

"Don't worry about it. I hardly use it anymore." Claire said not understanding why Faith would worry over a book. 

 

"Ye should still make sure ye get it back. So nothing gets lost. Lots of useful information in there." Faith stressed. Claire suspected one of the reasons for Faith's appearance was to take her back. Perhaps she was hinting to some instructions that Faith had figured out the way to travel through the stones properly.  

 

"Don't worry. I'll make sure it gets back to my office." She tried to placate her worries. 

 

"It's on the bookcase. Downstairs." 

 

"Got it." Claire took Faith by the shoulder. "Before you go. I want you to know that I'm so proud of the woman you've become. " 

 

"You really shouldn't." Faith mumbled. 

 

"Of course I should. I look at you and I can't believe the baby I held in my arms is truly here. And that she's grown to be such a beautiful and brave young woman. How can I not be proud of that?" 

  

" _Tha gaol agam oirbh, a mhàthair_." Faith said hugging Claire once more. 

 

"I love you too, my darling." 

 

"Could ye give me yer blessing?" Claire's voice caught in her throat. She tried for the hundredth time that week to not fall apart. Her blessing. One of the last requests Jamie had asked of her before sending her through the stones and to his death.  

 

Looking at Faith now she could see him in Faith's steely gaze and chin stubbornly jutting out, holding it high.  Claire took a deep breath, stealing herself and tried to recall the words to the celtic prayers of protection Jenny had taught so long ago.  

 

“ _Jesus, Thou Son of Mary,I call upon Thy name; and on the name of John the Apostle beloved, And on the names of all the saints in the red domain, To shield thee in the battle to come …_ ” her voice grew horse as she laid a hand on Faith's head. 

 

"... _amen_.  _Thalla le Dia, a Nighean_." She finished. Both unable to stop the tears from falling. 

 

***** 

Tha gaol agam oirbh, a mhàthair- I love you mother. I have love on you. 

 

Thalla le Dia- go with god 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this month.   
> Next month we'll be seeing another set of goodbyes.


	18. To part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie departs.

May 1753,

Lallybroch

By May the preparation to turn in Jamie to the British had been set. As had been discussed, Joe Fraser would be the one to inform the red coats red Jamie would be in the valley by Freesyhaunt's Burn making it seem he was approaching Lallybroch. There was an English station between Struy and Eskadale; Jamie would probably be captured somewhere in between.

Jamie would be visiting the house one last time to say goodbye and to see Faith for her birthday. Jamie had turned 32 on the first. Faith would be nine. It would be a solemn occasion for everyone in the house, but Faith would try to change that.

Mary McNab had taken supplies to Jamie the night before. Auntie Jenny stating he needed shaving and it would help in case he were spotted returning to Lallybroch. They had been careful the last seven years, they weren't about to lose that now because her brother was being a stubborn mule.

Mary had returned with a few items that he kept in the cave; a book,a spare stark, and the nub of a candle that he used very rarely. An hour after dawn, Jamie returned emerging from the trees carrying a small deer. Three rabbits were hanging from his belt and a grouse carried in a sack. He'd checked all the snares that morning and by a stroke of luck had found the deer on his way to the last snare.

It wasn't much but he felt some relief to be able to provide what little he could before he departed.The gold from his capture would be useful in time. It made him feel less guilty for what he was going to do to Faith.

Faith, knowing her Da would be arriving had woken with the lark. She'd been helping Mrs. Crook by trying not to be under foot. At the sight of his arrival she'd shot up from her seat and stopped at his feet, seeing his burdens. Faith greeted him verbally.

"Good morning _a nighean_. You're up early." He noted as he greeted her. Faith noticed his clean shaven faced in a different light. She'd almost always seen her father before he shaved when he came around the house. He was always quiet and serious. It was usually followed by aunt Jenny leading him away to get cleaned up. This Jamie was of a happier frame of mind.

"Aye. I was waiting for ye. Mary came back but ye didn't."

Jamie's face darkened for a moment, but only nodded and said. "Aye, had to check the snares. I was in luck today."

Jamie made his way to the abattoir, Faith followed at his heels. Jamie stood at the table, preparing the animals. Faith, without prompting, sat on a bench and watched as Jamie went to task.

Jamie asked Faith a few questions and Faith answered honestly never taking her eyes of Jamie as he worked. Jamie found it amusing as Faith quietly followed the movements of his hands, Watching carefully as he skinned the deer. Her face was serious and intense, making her eyes squint.

As he finished he went to wash up, Faith close behind never leaving his sight. This was not typical behavior for Faith, Jamie noted. While her start in the world had been a difficult one, it did not take long for her to prove she could mange on her own. Faith had always been an independent child, every bit like her mother. Even when they'd left for the rebellion she hadn't cried or fussed at the absence of her parents.

Throughout the day Faith stayed by his side and on occasion was seen clinging to Jamie refusing to let go. Jenny compared them to a mother hen and her chick. Where Jamie went, Faith went.

Jenny knew this was because of Jamie leaving. While she knew she shouldn't let this continue; knowing it would be much harder when Jamie left that night, a part of her couldn't bare to be the one to separate the two.

Dinner was a joyful occasion, greatly in part to Jamie's additional meat. Since berries were not in season yet, Mrs.Crook had prepared a pudding with honey and nuts she'd been saving for an occasion.

Most of the children ended up with sticky fingers and mouths. Faith being among them. Jamie told Jenny he'd clean her up, so Jenny could focus on her bairn. This prompted Faith to assure she was doing just fine as she licked the sticky honey from her fingers.

"Aye I can see that, but it's also time for bed _a chuisle_. You've had plenty of excitement today. " he said as he lifted her up in his arms an made for Faiths room. He paused long enough to have someone take a jug of hot water to them.

Jenny's voice carried up the stairs as she rounded up the rest Of the barons for bed. It reminded Jamie of a better time when he carried Faith as a baby. She didn't weigh anything back then, he thought wistfully. They didn't need to wait long for the water to arrive as he helped Faith clean up. Something Faith made known she was more than capable of doing herself.

"Da I can do it myself" she whined as Jamie wiped the wet cloth across her face.

"I ken that just fine lass, but it's been a long time since I got ye ready for bed. Humor me."

Faith made a face but allowed him to continue. Jamie helped her with her bed time routine. Once tucked in Faith grabbed Jamie's wrist as he turned toward the door.

"Don't leave yet Da!" Faith's voice sounded panicked.

"I'm not leaving yet. I'm only getting something. Stay right there. I'll be back." Jamie had only made it down the hall when he hear the sound of small steps following him. He turned to see Faith not remotely guilty of disobeying him. He sighed, defeated.

"Come here then, _Mo mhúirninn_." He lifted her in his arms and they both returned down stairs to the laird study. They found Jenny and Ian talking amicably, a dram of whisky each. Jamie walked in smiling apologetically at the two. It was clear why he hadn't returned alone.

"Faith you wee thistle, ye should be in bed." Ian said to her and Faith only turned into Jamie's shirt by way of answer.

"We've only come to get something, a charaid. I'll be down soon enough. Right Faith?"

Faith shook her head violently in disagreement. The adults in the room smiled sadly understanding how hard this was for her. Jamie went to the bookcase and pulled a small wooden box from the shelf. Faith's solid weight against him gave him comfort he wasn't aware he needed as he climbed the stairs.

Back in her room, Jamie sat Faith back on the bed, tucking her in. Faith looked small as she lay there. It was a large bed for a nine year old, but she would grow into it, Jamie assured himself. He would not be here to see it, but she would. Faith tugged on his hand until he settled over the covers next to her.

He presented the small box to Faith. "I wish I were able to give ye more, _a chuisle."_

The box was intricately carved from sturdy wood, the shape of a deer on the top lid. Crude thistles surrounded on the outside. It must have taken him ages to carve it, Faith thought. It would have been difficult due to his stiff hand.

There was a weight to it that was confirmed by rattle on an object inside. "What is it ?"

"Open it." Inside was a metal brooch she had never see before. It wasn't new, it's circular shape was worn in the way many of the things at Lallybroch were worn, with love and character.

"It was yer grannie's. I didn't have many things from her. I gave yer mam her pearls on our wedding night. She wasn't able to pass them on to ye. This was the other thing I had from her. I hope you find use for it. I know my mam would have liked te see ye wear it. It was her favorite."

"Thank ye Da. I love them both. The box is beautiful, but ye didn't have to go to the trouble. It would have save yer hand a lot of pain."

"It was nae bother. I couldn't give ye my mams brooch by itself."

"Da?"

"Aye?"

"Do ye have to go?" She asked, not brave enough to look at him as she asked. Her eyes focused on the box in her lap.

"I'm afraid so. It's something I must do."

"Is it true ye'll be hanged?" Jamie's heart plummeted at the question.

"Oh _Mo mhúirninn_. While there is a chance of that. I dinna think so. Yer mam she, she saw the trouble that would happen after Culloden. She told me that after a time those arrested would be imprisoned not hanged."

"Why do ye have to get caught at all? Ye can go away. Ye can visit once in a while." Faith said hopefully.

"Faith this isn't only about me and you. 'Tis about everyone. By being caught and turned in for the price on my head, the gold will allow your auntie and uncle, your cousins, the folk here have a easier time if there's a bad crop or a need for it. Uncle Ian won't be taken away again. Your auntie won't worry that he's been taken away."

"All because you were caught by the Red Coats."

"Aye. A lot of good can come from a hard decision. I've had to make a few in the past and they were for the best, even if they were hard. "

"Will I ever see ye again? If yer not hanged?"

"I dinna ken _A bheannachd_. God willing I will see ye again, someday. Now then it's time for you to go to sleep and it's my time to go." He stated sadly. He sounded tired Faith thought.

"No." She insisted, refusing to let go of his hand.

"Da no, please not yet. Wait until I go to sleep. Don't go until then. Please promise." She begged.

"Fine I'll be here until you fall asleep. I give ye my word."

"Thank ye Da." Faith hugged him.

"How about I tell ye a story about a hard decision I had to make. It hurt me a lot. Remember the story I used to tell ye about her mam?"

"She was a fairy."

"Aye she was a _Ban-druidh_ , a white lady who was called by the fairies. It was the day before the battle of Culloden. The fairies knew what would happen. They knew she was in danger. Yer mam wanted to stay by my side. She ken if she tried to escape to Lallybroch, to ye she would be stopped by the English. She was wanted as the Stuart Witch. They kenned she was my wife. She would have been killed like any other Jacobite."

"But she wanted to stay with you."

"Aye she did, she said she'd dress as a man and fight by my side."

"Why didn't she?"

"Because I sent her to the fairies. That's why she's gone lass. Because I sent her. "

"But why?"

"Because yer mam was with bairn. If there was a chance that it would save the both of them I would take it. I decided she should go. It was the hardest decision, but it was for the best. If she had stayed, the English would had killed her. This way she had a chance. She and the child."

"Why didn't she come back?"

"Perhaps the fairies don't allow it. "

"Because it's not safe?"

"Maybe."

"Am I safe?"

"Aye _A leannain_ , you're safe here at Lallybroch. Yer auntie and and uncle, even Fergus would make sure nothing would change that. I'm doing this to make sure ye stay safe."

"What if I need ye."

"Ye dinna need me Faith. Ye've never needed me; ever since you were born. Ye were strong and brave enough to show that to us. The last nine years have shown me how true that is. Ye've grown into such a braw lass. Everyday I see ye, I see yer mam too. She was just as strong."

"But I want ye to stay Da." At that moment Faith broke down and cried.

Jamie held her. Trying to calm her frantic sobs. This went on for some time. Jenny popped in at one point to see what was taking Jamie so long. She only left giving him a pointed look indicating what he already knew. He needed to leave as soon as he could. He had promised Faith to stay until she was asleep and he would keep his promise.

Faith resisted sleep for as long as possible. There were moments when Jamie thought she had finally fallen asleep only for her to jerk awake, clinging to his shirt. Sometimes she would mumble pleads other times she would return to crying. It broke Jamie's heart to see what his decision had caused.

Faith jerked awake, panicked to find herself alone. She heard the sound of a horse taken from the stalls out in the kailyard. The murmur of voices talking by the kitchen door.

She rushed out slamming the door, her feet pounding, probably waking the house. There was a faint light in the horizon, indicating dawn was approaching.

"Da no! "She yelled out as she made it to the door.

"Ye promised!"

"And I kept it. _Mo ghràidh oirbh, a nighean_." He kicked up his horse venturing quickly away. Faith hesitated for a moment before running after him. It was foolish, some part of her knew this as she yelled for him to stop, but she continued to run her voice growing hoarse.

In a flash she was stopped. Fergus holding with one arm around her waist. Faith struggled as Fergus tried to calm her. In the distance Jamie stopped. Faith took a gulping breath hoping he would turn his horse around.

It took every fiber of Jamie's will to not look back. He took a deep breath, telling himself that this was the right thing to do and continued on. Faith crumpled to the ground as she saw him go. Fergus tried to console her to no avail.

*********

A chuisle- oh vein.  
Mo mhúirninn - my darling

Nighean - lass, girl, daughter

A Leannain - sweetheart/beloved

A bheannachd- my blessings; in the evocative case when speaking to the blessing itself.

Mo ghràidh oirbh, nighean.- I love you daughter/ my love on you oh daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this month. I hope this chapter helped bring some understanding to Faith's way of thinking. Next month we return to Scotland in the 60s.


	19. Return to Inverness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faith's return to Scotland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back!  
> I managed to get this done and my beta was able to get it back to me just in time for Jamie's birthday!

December 1966  
United kingdom

The jolt of the plane shook Faith out of the memory of her father leaving. The image of him refusing to turn his back seemed to be burned into her mind and surfaced every time she closed her eyes since she departed from Boston. She couldn't seem to shake the memory.

She landed in London not long after, the dreary weather could be seen from the windows, leaving her less eager to leave the comfort of the plane. She held her bag tightly, trying to avoid the slick pavement on her way into the terminal.

With a small suitcase Claire had given her with more warm clothes, Faith didn't take long to collect and get through customs. There was a moment that Faith was afraid the officer would stop her. He would take one look at her and claim her for the fraud she was.

The man barely glanced at her as he stamped her passport and let her go through. Faith exhaled as she went through with the rest of the arrivals. She paused as she watched families reuniting. The memory of her own farewell fresh in her mind.

"Faith!" Roger Wakefield waved from the back of the crowd. He shouldered his way past several families to get to her.

"I was worried ye wouldn't see me. Come on, the car's this way. " he said, leading her out the door.

"I almost didn't recognize ye. I wasn't expecting ye to be wearing glasses. Did ye have them before?" He asked as he walked.

"No. They're recent." Faith replied as she tried to match his long strides.

"They suit ye. A bit old fashioned." He noted.

"But they suit ye. " he amended quickly avoiding looking at her eye.

As they drove Roger explained how Mrs.Graham had contacted him asking if he could pick her up.

"She wanted me to drop ye off at the station, but I told her I was pretty much done for the term. So why not drive ye to Scotland myself. I could use the company. It gets pretty quiet on the drive up there."

Faith could only nod at his explanation, not thinking of anything else she could add to the conversation. She kened it was polite to ask about his welfare, but she couldn't find it in herself to care at the moment.

The thought of what she'd done was weighing on her. While Roger tried to be friendly and engaging, Faith was a poor companion. Her mind turning again and again to the letter hidden between the pages on Grey's Anatomy.

If it was meant to be and God willed it, Claire would find the letter in her rarely used book. If Faith was wrong, she prayed that letter would set things right.

"You're quiet." Roger noted with some concern.

"Did your trip not go well?"

"It went fine, great really. It just ended too quickly. No one likes goodbyes, after all."

"No I suppose not. I'm glad it went great. America is quite something." Roger was trying to be engaging; had been for the drive so far.

"Aye." Roger nodded waiting to see if Faith would add anything else. She didn't. Roger continued driving, Faith noticed he would turn to look at her often. He had a look on his face as if he was trying to find something to say. Eventually, he looked like he was going to say something, but thought better of it. He'd then turn his eyes to the road for a time before starting over again.

Faith was sure part of Rogers behavior was a concern for her preoccupation. She was aware that she was behaving in a put out manner; it was un-ladylike and she was raised better, but she couldn't find it in her self to care. Another part of Faith, recognized the way Roger stumbled over his words and took to looking at her, he'd done it even before her return.

She had met men like Roger; there were plenty on them back at home. Nice men, capable enough, but didn't seem to know what to do with her. Couldn't seem to get past a bonnie face or advantages that came with her family name. She wasn't so daft to think that marriage was all romance, but she wanted a man that would at least bother to get past all that.

While marriage or reputation might not be what Roger was after, he clearly had some interest in her. Faith's suspicions were confirmed as Roger asked if she would be staying with Mrs.Graham and Fiona for a time.

"I dinna ken for sure. Mrs.Graham and I will have te talk about it. I might be going back home to my uncle and aunt straight away." She said this with a hopeful tone in her voice.

Roger visibly deflated at that. He'd been thinking of a way to learn more about Faith. She had caught his eye at their first meeting. Not only was she attractive, she carried herself like a lady, with her straight back posture and graceful poise.

It wouldn't have been the first time a lass had caught his eye. Roger didn't know anything about the young woman. She was less than forthcoming about herself, which added to her mystery as well as less approachable.

The memory of Mrs.Graham telling him in his adolescences, “'If ye have to ask yourself if you’re in love, laddie—then ye aren’t,'” She was pretty,with her fine bones and delicate hands, but this wasn't love, he was sure of that. While her sharp blue eyes and translucent skin may have caught his attention, he wasn't exactly left breathless.

A part of him couldn't help but want to make a connection with the lass. Even with her graceful posture and sensible nature that showed despite her timidity, there was a preoccupation behind her eyes. It was evident on the trip back to Inverness. He wondered what could trouble someone like Faith McTavish so.

It was evident to Faith when they crossed into Scotland. Even in this century Scotland had an aroma that was unique and could not be replicated elsewhere. It had a natural smell of earth and animal. The sort of smell Faith would recognize anywhere, having lived there her whole life.

Despite the frozen winter she rolled down the window the first chance she got. Roger had gone behind some trees to relieve himself. From her seat Faith leaned out the window inhaling the crisp air. For the first time since her departure she felt a sense of peace settle into place. She was home.

As they neared Inverness Faith noticed as Roger began to fidget in his seat. Eventually he turned to say, " Mrs.Graham mentioned ye had an interest in the old folk."

"Some" Faith answered vaguely not understanding where Roger was going with this line of questioning.

"You've heard of Craigh na Dun? It's no too far from Inverness. They say there's a fairy dun underneath it. " This piqued Faith's interest.

"Ye don't say."

"Aye, it's actually up ahead." He said turning off from the road. When the stopped, they both exited the car. Roger taking up the lead and Faith trailed behind him her sack gripped tight over her shoulder.

Picking up speed, Faith caught up with Roger as he neared the stones. It was different. There was no call. The stones were silent, only the wind that was noticeable from that height. Carefully, Faith took a turn about the circle.

Roger seemed to be explaining something to her, but his voice was drowned out by the blood rushing in her ears. Her heart beat loud and clear as she neared the center stones. She closed her eyes as she raised her hand on the stone, prepared to be sent through what she could only describe as hell.

Nothing happened, opening her eyes she looked around to find Roger lecturing her on the importance of preserving sites like these. She exhaled, not entirely sure whether to be disappointed or not. A small part of her panicked wondering if she could even return. She would have to speak to Mrs. Graham, but perhaps she was meant to wait, she thought as they returned to the car.

Across the Atlantic, Frank Randall is putting away an old tattered copy of a Dickens' A Christmas Carol. He and Claire hadn't needed it in years, but it a reassuring to have just in case. As he's stepping away from the shelf he notices Claire's copy of Grays Anatomy on a slightly lower shelf. Days later when Claire asks him if he happened to see it, he feigned ignorance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for this month. 
> 
> A note on this chapter. I just want to make it clear that nothing romantic is going to happen with Roger and Faith. Roger's behavior stemmed from his descriptions of Claire in the books. If you've never read it, Roger makes is clear that Claire is a lovely woman. It created a bit of a headcannon about Roger having a thing for Fraser women. So that's where this chapter was born. Don't worry though a certain tall red head is more his type. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> Till next month.


	20. Meanwhile Back At The Ranch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie contemplates his absence and his reunion to Faith as he returns to Lallybroch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter this month. Gives a look at Jamie's thoughts.

Winter 1763  
Scotland

Jaime Fraser made his way up the road leading from Broch Morda. The Scottish winter air crisp as he breathed in every breathe. Such a different aroma from the Lake District. Helwater was not Scotland and it definitely was not home. He believed he had done the right thing, staying as long as he did. Any longer and it would create suspicion and talk. He did the right thing he continued to tell himself. Faith would not think so if she ever found out, he thought guilty, but resigned.

Faith. His heart ached as it always did when he thought of her these past years. Faith, the spit of her mother and just as fearless. It hurt to think of the final time he'd seen her. Running from the house screaming after him; tears in her eyes, begging him not to go. He had decided this was the best way to do it. He was sure if he had told her, he would had abandoned all his plans the second she asked him not to go. And she would ask him.

If he didn't give himself over to the English, the people of Lallybroch would've starved, she would have starved. He had to steel himself as he watched her run after him. The helplessness he felt. Fergus, son of his heart, had run after her and dragged her away. He had fastidiously promised to look after her for him. Once Fergus had her in hand, it took all of Jamie's resolve to turn his back and go without looking back.

Now, After so many years, he was returning and he wasn't sure what to expect. Jenny had written to him when she could and kept him informed, but he was sure Faith's feeling might be another matter entirely.

He rolled a smooth translucent white stone between his fingers. He had collected eleven stones during his time away, chosen by the feel in hand or a pretty color. One for each person in his family, his sister, for Ian, for Young Jamie, Maggie, Kitty, Janet, Michael, and Young Ian; Faith; for the child Claire had carried when she went; a piece of rough amethyst for Claire herself. He had added a twelfth stone before leaving Helwater. Faith's stone was the one he currently held in the palm of his hand as he rode up north.

He hurried his horse up the road wanting to get to Lallybroch before supper. He had written ahead that he would be home by spring, but he was able to find a proper replacement for the dunsany's head groom much faster than he had thought. It had speed up his plans by a few months.

He had set off before hogmany, despite the snow fall. His only wish had been to return home and see his daughter. His hope now was that Jenny didn't cause too much of a fuss at his homecoming.

Sooner than he realized, he found himself within walking distance of the house and dismounted from his horse. The dogs were the first to run out and greet him. A comfortable familiarity ran through him at the experience. Once satisfied he wasn't a stranger, they followed at his heels as he led the horse behind him. The dogs' commotion must not have alerted anyone in the house as he saw children playing in front of the house undisturbed by the barking. He paused to watch the bairns as they ran to and fro.

They were unfamiliar to him and much too young for any of them to be Faith or Fergus. Both were now grown and adults in their own right. He could only guess that some of them must be young Jamie's children. He realized suddenly it had been some time since he had heard from Jenny. The thought struck him suddenly, it wasn't completely out of possibility that he might have unknowingly become a grandfather. The thought alone made him regret being away for so long. He had missed too much, but he stood by his decision.

As he neared the gate, one of the children stopped and stared at him before running inside, presumably to alert the inhabitants. In a whirl wind he was being greeted and hugged. His hand was being shook by various people he was being introduced to. He scanned the welcoming party for the telltale sign of wild curls and steely cat eyes.

Perhaps she was in the garden; gathering what herbs she could in this winter. She would sometimes spend time in the stables taking care of the horses, he recalled. She had always been diligent in her chores and she was probably finishing them up before rushing out to see him . He glanced to the windows of the house wondering if she had decided not to greet him. He searched the crowd as a small panic grew through him. Had he greeted her already and not recognized her? No. He was sure that he would have recognized his own child.

He excused himself from the man he was talking to as he made his way to Jenny and Ian whispering furiously at each other.

"Jenny, where is Faith?" He asked her abruptly ending the argument.

"Jaime you should come inside we have some things to talk about."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this month. I thought with this chapter less was more. Next month we will continue with Faith getting answers for her return and some unfortunate news.   
> Till next month!


	21. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm which we wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are going towards the end of Faith's journey soon. There will be one chapter after this and then an epilogue. Hope you enjoy it.

1966,  
Inverness

Faith was troubled by the sudden inability to cross through until they arrived to Mrs. Graham's. They both waited for Roger Wakefield to make his way to the manse, promising to return before Christmas; before getting into any detail of Faith's travels.

Mrs. Graham explained how she understood the stones worked, from what she'd seen with Claire and how it coincided with the fire feast. Essentially, it came down to Faith waiting until Beltane.

With that knowledge Mrs Graham and Fiona welcomed Faith into their celebration and traditions of Christmas and hogmany. Yule had never been something that was celebrated in any grand way during Faiths time. The celebrations in the twentieth century were not only grand, they were beautiful. Faith had glimpsed some of it during her time in Boston when she went out to the shops with Claire, but now the festivities seemed to be in full force.

Faiths favorites were what Fiona called fairy lights. She had no idea why they were named such and had told Fi so. Fi had told her it was because they looked like fairies to Faith's utter confusion. They looked nothing like what Faith imagined fairies looked like in the stories.  
  
The trees were another favourite of Faiths. They were so extravagant and odd to see in a home. Auntie Jenny would never allow such a thing in her house, a Yule log perhaps,but never a tree to decorate.

With the knowledge that these were times to spend with family, Faith was under no impression that Claire would leave her ready made family if she found her letter. A small part of her hoped. Thinking that Faith was already through the stone, Claire had no reason to call. So a few days after Christmas the phone rang.

Claire called to wish Mrs.Graham a Merry Christmas. After hearing from Frank that the reverend had heard from Roger that the Grahams had a visitor; Claire thought she would call. Mrs Graham had relayed what had happened to Faith, then passed the phone over to her.

Faith had yet to try the telephone so she marveled at the sound of her mother coming through the device. It sounded a bit strange, but she could identify that it was Claire talking, maybe from afar.

Claire greeted her before getting to the point.

"My darling I'm so sorry, Mrs.Graham just told me."

"Dinna fash, ye dinna Ken."

"Would you like to come back until Beltane? I can arrange it."

She did not mention the letter. So she had not read it yet? Faith wondered.

"No it's alright. ye do notneed to trouble yourself. Mrs Graham and Fiona have been very hospitable. Thank ye for askin'. How is Brianna?"

"She's doing just fine my darling. She was sad to see you go. She wished you would have spent Christmas with us. How did you spend it? I know, it's not something that you're used to."

"It was grand. There's a lot of talk of hogmany in Inverness. It will be the first one I don't celebrate at Lallybroch. "

"I'm sorry you can't be there. "

"Dinna fash. I was foolish enough to passed through the stones without a plan. "

"If you're sure then."

"I am." Faith paused. "Ehm... did you find your book where I left it?"

Curiosity won out.

"I have not. I did look where you told me. Are you sure you placed it on the bookcase. Could you have left it somewhere else?"

Faith had left it there. There was not reason for anyone else to take it. Neither Brianna nor Mr.Randall had an interest in medicine. Perhaps this was God's will. This was proof that Faith had made the right choice. Claire was meant to stay with her family here, in this time.

"No, I suppose it must have been lost. I'm sorry. I din na mean to lose it." Faith said regretfully.

"There's no reason for you to be sorry. Like I told you I dont use it. I was given to me as a gift. "

"I still feel awful about it."

"Don't and I would like to tell you; If you ever want to come back and stay you have a home here with us."

"What about Mr.Randall and Brianna?"

"I'll explain it to them. You can stay."

"That's kind of ye but I belong back in my time. I'm expected there."

"I understand." Claire defeated." I should go. Take care of yourself."

"I will. "

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Faith did not spend to much time dwelling on the fact that Claire would not come. Soon, much to soon for anyone to comprehend, Mrs.Graham fell ill. Fiona and Faith took up caring for her to no avail.

Faith became familiar with the halls of the hospital in Inverness. Fiona's work allowed her so much time, leaving Faith as Mrs.Graham's company throughout the day. Even in ill health Mrs. Graham was welcomed company. She was a great story teller, like any Scot Faith was acquainted with and told Faith stories of her youth and the war. she readily answer and explained any questions Faith had of the treatment that she was given.

Faith admired the way Mrs.Graham's good nature seemed to stay with her. Faith had known and tended to plenty of people who lost hope in their illness, withdrawing into themselves. Mrs.Graham never seemed to falter.

It was near the end of January that Mrs. Graham took a turn for the worse. Fiona had ask for a leave in her duties to stay with her grandmother. Mrs.Graham left Fiona instructions to take Faith to the stones on Beltane. Faith whispers a string of words in Gaelic, "  
Chaneil facal agam dhuinbh ach taing." She then left the room to give Fiona and her grandmother some privacy. Mrs. Graham died a few hours later in the early morning.

Faith was not the only person occupied with the unexpected. On the other side of the world in Boston another death had befallen. Frank Randall died in a car accident. His car skidded on black ice. As Claire and Brianna mourned; a letter lay forgotten in a medical book Mr.Randall placed in a box of families records in his study.

*****  
Chaneil facal agam dhuinbh ach taing- "I have no word for you but thanks" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this month.   
> Next month well be seeing Faith returning to the past and having some explaining to do.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. Lallybroch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of Faith's journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi folks, this is technically the last chapter, but I will include an epilogue. See end notes for details. Thanks!   
> Enjoy!

May 1764,  
Scotland

Faith woke to the sound of thunder. She opened her eyes finding that it was no longer the deafening sound of crossing through the stones but actual thunder. She expelled a sigh of relief as she felt droplets of moisture on her face.

After a moment of getting her bearings, Faith slowly rose to a familiar landscape of the past. Even though she didn't know for sure, she could almost feel she was in the right place.

The crossing had not been easy. It had been worse than the first time and she made no plan to ever cross over if she could help it. Luckily she had avoided any harm to her person this time around and was grateful for it.

Faith located the hiding place where she had left her clothes. They were dirty, damp and worn from the Scottish rain and winter, but they would have to do for now. If she looked like a beggar woman,perhaps someone would take pity on her.

She dressed, her body familiarizing itself with her stays and stockings. She admitted some of the more modern clothing would have been faster to put on.

As she tucked the locket into her dress she noticed something amiss. Pulling it back out she saw the emerald was gone. A moment of panic struck her. Had she lost it?

Faith retraced her steps. She search from the stones to her hiding place and back. Not finding it she looked in her meager belongings to see if anything else was missing. Nothing was. She looked in the locket but found the miniature portraits intact. The only thing missing was the gem. After searching as long as she could, she resigned herself to it being lost forever.

Pulling her cloak over her shoulders she set out in the direction of Lallybroch. She walked until she found a wagon heading to Broch Morda. Usually long walks of this sort wouldn't have tired her out this quickly, but the combination of cold temperatures, fatigue, and simply being out of practice had her ready to keel over. She was thankful a wagon not only stopped, but was heading in the direct she was. Many waited to travel after winter for fear of terrible conditions on the road. Losing a wheel or getting stuck in muddy roads was a good enough reason to wait.

The walk to Broch Morda felt infinite. Every step was laborious for Faith. It was young Jamie that found her. He'd been making his way to the village when he spotted her approaching the mill.

What followed was a rush of sights and sounds and people. Faith was too tired to keep track of it. All that assured her was that she was home with family. She was safe.

She vaguely took in the questions of her whereabouts and her condition, but couldn't bring herself to say anything yet. She'd been stripped out of her wet clothes, washed in warm water, and then sat in front of the fire in the parlour in nothing but her shift and a blanket. She registered the absence of the face she'd wanted to see. Where was her Da?

When Aunt Jenny brought her a mug of something hot, Faith in a raspy voice asked. "Where's Da?"

Aunt Jenny seemed shocked to hear her voice or question or both as she stared at Faith a moment before she responded, "he's been sent for." then turned to leave the room.

Faith wasn't sure how long she stared at the fire and waited. The mug of what turned it to be tea doused with whiskey helped though.

The clamour of voices at the door and heavy footsteps had her up and depositing of her mug.

Jamie Fraser stood at the door searching until his eyes locked on Faith.

"Da" She exclaimed breathlessly.

"Faith, _A Leannain_! My wee babe. _A Mhìcheal bheannaichte_! Where have you been, My wee thing?" He rushed her into his arms.

Faith says nothing, frozen at the reality of being back and standing in front of her father. He wasn't as tall as she remember, but she still had to look up to see his face. His hair as bright as ever and the same vibrant red as Brianna. The faint lines that marked his face the only indication that he aged. He pulled her by the shoulders at arm length suddenly.

"I have it in mind to give ye a thrashing! " he claimed hugging her once more to his chest. Clearly no meaning in his threat.

She suddenly starts to tremble, she shakes her head into his shirt,overwhelmed. Jaime pulls her away from him by her shoulder examines her. He notices she looks unharmed, healthy even, if a bit pale. He sets her down in her seat and settled the blanket around her once more.

"Did someone touch you lass?" He asked seriously. He looked ready to tear someone's head off and that stirred guilt in her at his worry.

"No" she whispers and began to cry into his shirt. Her arms wrapping tightly around Jamie's large frame.

"Faith." He shakes her, trying to dislodge her so she would look at him.  
"Faith, where have ye been?"

"It does not matter." Her muffled voice reaches him as she tries to take refuge into his shirt.

"It does matter. Now, tell me!" His demands more urgent now at her distress.

"It does not matter because _she's_ gone!" There was a stunned silence before Jamie said in a hoarse whisper.

"The truth lass." He said, holding her tighter, "we've been worried."

Faith's body trembled once more as she inhaled adjusting to be heard from her position."I went looking for her. You only ever said she was gone. I thought you were trying to protect me. I thought.... it does not matter because she's gone and she's not coming back."

She was a coward she thought.This was what had been building up in her mind as she traveled to Lallybroch, the realization of her doomed journey. There was no doubt in Jamie as to who they were taking about.

"Ye left to search for her. Where did ye go? South?"

"Aye..." she said reluctantly. It wasn't a lie. "I traveled south. I thought her being English..."

"On yer own. _A chuisle_ , Why didn't ye take some one with ye? Why leave Fergus behind?"

"Because no one would have agreed if I'd said something. They would have refused."

"Yer right Because it's a fool heided idea. Ye could have been hurt."

"I got by fine!" She pulled back this time her anger building.

"It does not matter! She's not coming back! I did not find Claire Fraser! There was no Claire FRASER where I went!" Faith's long held grief from her travels poured out all at once.

"I thought I'd lost you too, A mhúirnín." He finally said stunned at her outburst.

"I'm sorry Da. I'm so verra sorry." She cried wrapped around him once more.

" _Much, mo naoidheachan, much. Bith socair, mo chridhe. tha mi'n seo. Oh Faith, Neart mo chridhe_." He whisper into her hair, comforting her.

Jaime held her, a part of him just glad to have her in his arms once more. There were times he thought he'd never have this again. The other party drove him mad. She was just as maddening as her mother going off and doing something foolish. Lord keep her safe, her and the child. He prayed.

She'd gone to look for her. This was his fault. Jenny was right about telling her stories. Faith had thought Claire was here in this time, hiding. She'd gone on a search that was doomed from the start. Not only that but she'd done it without telling anyone. Surely he'd thought she'd have someone to confide in.

Faith rested in the parlour as Jamie sought out Jenny. He explained what had happened. Jenny prepared what was needed. She sent both Jamie and Faith a meal to the parlour before they left.

Still shaken by everything Faith didn't seem to understand what was going on until she and Jamie were riding away from Lallybroch.

"Where are we going?"

"Home lass. A lot had happened since ye left. I'll explain on the way to Balriggen."

Faith listened, her guilt ebbing at hearing what her father had done. Having thought Faith had left him and not finding a trace of her, Aunt Jenny had convinced him that marrying widow Mackimmie would give him purpose. The widow had two young girls in need of a father and Jamie was in need of a family.

A part of Faith felt betrayed at the easiness of it all. She's gone through the stones and back only to find that her parents had found a family without each other. Without her. She thought back at the letter in the mysteriously disappeared book. Is this why? Had this been meant to be all along?

She didn't think she would ever truly know. Like her answers, her future seemed just as unknown. She did know that despite his absence, she trusted her father. Jamie Fraser had always done what was best for his family, what was best for her. It was time he found happiness in his life after everything he'd been through.

If this was what Da wanted, I want to be part of it, she thought.

***********

Bi sàmhach, tha mi'n seo- be quiet (calm); I am here  
Bith socair, mo chridhe- be at ease my heart  
A chuisle- oh vein.  
A Leannain - sweetheart/beloved  
A Mhìcheal bheannaichte- oh blessed Michael.  
A mhúirnín- my darling  
Much, mo naoidheachan, much - sssh, my child, sssh  
Neart mo chridhe- strength of my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As sad as it is to say, this is the end.   
> I have the epilogue essentially done, but instead of releasing next month I'll be doing so in about two weeks, give or take a few days. I'll also be answering some questions that I haven't answered in the comments about the how and why of this fic in my end notes; For those that are interested that is.
> 
> I also might include details on my next "project", so to speak.
> 
> For those who aren't going to stick around or can't for whatever reason, I'd like to go ahead and thank everyone who read, commented, and/or gave kudos, I really appreciate it. It's great motivation especially for someone like me that was writing their first fic.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed Faith's journey and like the epilogue in two weeks!  
> Bye


End file.
